La fe, coraje, et esperanza
by AlixM1234
Summary: The Queen of the Beam, the feistiest of the Rock Rebels, is down. Life's hit her hard in the face, and even though everyone says she doesn't have a heart – her spirit feels pretty damn broken. But, sometimes there isn't a hero to fix everything, sometimes you have to do it yourself. SEQUEL TO THE PIED PIPER
1. Chapter 1

**La fe, coraje, et esperanza**

**Prologue: the black dog**

**A/N **_Hi everyone – this is the sequel to 'The Pied Piper' my story about the Rock rebels and the 2012 Olympics. This story follows directly after chapter 31 of that story, or the week after the 2012 Olympics. It focuses on all of the girls, just like my previous story, but Lauren will be the main focus for now. Lauren's story isn't an easy one and this fic will be darker than my last. BUT there will still hopefully be some funny parts_. _This chapter is a prequel and basically just fills in Lauren's story from the Olympic Trials 2012. The real story will start in the next chapter._

XXX

**The Olympic Trials**

Lauren trudged back to her hotel room. She was so angry about her beam routine. She'd practiced so hard and she was far from her best. Her head ached and she just wanted to curl up and cry, but the fighter in her forced herself to shower and get into her pyjamas even though it was only 8.30. She bit her lip, she didn't know what was wrong: she was so strung out. She took two panadol and got into bed, hopefully she'd sleep better tonight.

XXX

The alarm buzzed – Lauren glared at it. She groaned and dragged herself out of bed. She forced herself to stand up, she was shaking from tiredness. She took a deep breath, she was a fighter, she could beat this. She rubbed her eyes and went to put make up on.

"Hey Lo" Emily mumbled, her hair tousled.

"Hey" Lauren croaked.

Emily took in her friend's deathly pale skin and blurry eyes. "What's wrong?"

Lauren bit her lip. "I – I dunno, I've been feeling really crap this past couple of weeks and I can't sleep." She screwed her eyes closed so she didn't cry.

Emily nodded and hugged Lauren. "It's going to be ok. I'm getting Payson." Emily said, trying to be calm. Lauren's fall on beam yesterday was terrible, she hadn't fallen off beam in years and although it hadn't ruined her chances, she needed to be nearly perfect today to make the team.

Lauren breathed deeply. She grabbed her hair straightener and pulled it through her hair, her arms felt like lead and she just felt miserable. She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked ragged. She turned her head as Emily reentered, flagged by Payson. The blonde girl walked over to Lauren and silently put her arms around her. And Lauren relaxed into the hug. After almost a full minute Payson gently pushed Lauren off her and held, gripped her shoulders tightly and looked her in the eye.

"Stand up straight." Payson said and Lauren obliged.

"Em said you've had a rough couple of nights."

Lauren nodded, a tear escaping down her cheek. She couldn't believe how easily she was crying, normally she was tough but that was what happened, she guessed when people didn't get any sleep. "I've had no sleep, I feel like everything is four times as hard."

Payson nodded. "Can you find your passion again?"

"What do you mean?"

"Reach down deep inside yourself, find that feeling you get when you are exhausted from training but there's that feeling inside you that makes you keep going. Do you think you can find it?"

Lauren looked at the girl who had led her for so many years, who had stood beside her despite the fact Lauren had betrayed her time and time again. She closed her eyes and remembered the day they won team gold, the feeling of joy and the feeling of being accepted by her team, and her coach. "I think so."

"Good. Now listen to me very carefully." Payson said calmly but sternly "I want you to hold onto that feeling, try to ignore your fatigue, and think of yourself on that Olympic team. You're Lauren fucking Tanner; there is no way you're going to let a couple of sleepless nights get in the way of your dream. Am I clear?"

"I'll try" Lauren croaked.

"Not good enough." Payson said, almost angrily.

"Yes! One of the spots on the team is mine!"

Payson smiled. "That's the Lauren I know and love, just think, all you've got to do is four more routines and then you can sleep, we'll get you sorted.

XXX

"As per the qualification rules the athlete with the highest score over two days of trials gains automatic berth onto the team. This quadrennium that athlete is Rosa Reynolds. Rosa is a first year senior and is known by her coach and teammates as the little dynamite. She has some of the hardest routines in the world and her bubbly personality and crazy power is reminiscent of Shawn Johnson and Carly Patterson. She is well deserving of her place on the team." The crowd erupted into a huge cheer and the other girls all descended on Rosa, hugging her.

Once Rosa came up and claimed her plaque and team jacket Marcus continued "the four remaining team members were not chosen specifically on their all around results: they were chosen as the best combination to take home the best possible team result. This decision was very difficult for us but we believe we have chosen the strongest team the USA has seen in a long time. It is my pleasure to announce our second team member, and team captain for 2012: Miss Payson Keeler."

The crowd absolutely screamed when Payson's name was announced. Her class and comeback made her beloved. Sasha was crying, Kim and Mark were crying and Becca was screaming her head off. Emily basically jumped on Payson, closely followed by the rest of the Rock girls. True to her promise with Kelly, Payson just smiled calmly and hugged every single other girl.

Marcus cleared his throat after it was clear that the crowd wasn't going to calm down "I was going to give a big introduction to Payson but it seems that you already know how spectacular she is: our comeback kid, ladies and gentlemen." And the crowd went wild again. Payson joined Rosa on the stage, they linked arms.

"Our third team member is one of our toughest competitors, she's steady as a rock and has pulled through for the team time and time again. Ladies and gentlemen: Kelly Parker." Kelly hugged her teammates, blew a kiss to the crowd and went on the stage: she gave the commentators a withering look and took her plaque. This was the tackiest thing in the world.

"This young lady has captured all our hearts with her bravery and entertaining gymnastics: Kaylie Cruz, former national champion and world team member." If the crowd had gone crazy for the previous three girls it went absolutely manic when Kaylie was announced. Kaylie let a single tear escape down her cheek.

"This final spot was a very difficult decision and I wish we could take all of you. Our final Olympian is a young woman of integrity who has overcome hardship to get where she is today. She has not let anything stand in the way of her dream. Ladies and gentlemen, Emily Kmetko."

Emily and Lauren looked at each other. Emily felt like the world was ending. Lauren's eyes looked empty, Emily hugged her friend tightly. Her friend who had worked her entire life for this and not made it. "It should have been you." Emily said tearfully.

Marcus announced Andrea and Haruko as the alternates and Sasha looked at his athletes and joined them on the stage as he was announced head coach. He was happy for them but his heart broke seeing Lauren standing on the floor, looking small and defeated.

Lauren forced the nail of her middle finger under her thumbnail, hard. She focused on that so she didn't cry, she wasn't going to cry. Not now. She forced a smile when Payson invited the eight other girls onto the mini stage. She wasn't angry at her teammates for making the team. She was surprised: normally when stuff like this happened she was filled with jealousy but looking into their faces all she could see was the years of hard work, the hurdles they'd overcome and, above all, how much they deserved to be going to London. She was exhausted though. The lack of sleep was finally taking its toll, her legs felt like jelly and her vision was a bit blurry. Finally they were allowed down from the stage. The media was swarming in, their cameras giving Lauren a huge headache, the edges of her vision started to go dark and she felt like she was going to fall over when a strong hand gripped each of her shoulders.

"I've got you. Don't worry about the media. The others are blocking their view of you. Lean against me, good girl." Lauren leaned into her coach as she'd done thousands of times at the end of a gruelling practice and she let Sasha half carry her to the edge of the podium, then he picked her up and carried outside he then helped her into a taxi. Steve following them worriedly.

When they reached the hotel Sasha told Lauren to go and freshen up and Sasha looked at Steve, the man looked exhausted.

"I can't believe it's finally over. All we've worked for."

Sasha gripped Steve's shoulder "it's not over, Lauren's got her whole life ahead of her. Look how far she's come. She hugged her teammates genuinely tonight, she didn't try to sabotage any of them. That's worth more than any medal."

Steve looked at him for a long time. Why did the man have to be so freaking noble? He was right of course but it still stung that his only child had come so close to achieving her dream and not making it.

"What's wrong with her Sasha?" He asked quietly "the past few weeks she hasn't been herself. I was surprised she managed to stay on the beam today, my heart was in my mouth her whole routine."

Sasha didn't say anything. He wanted to bring this up with Lauren first.

Steve sensed Sasha's hesitation. "Please tell me." He asked in a sad voice.

Sasha shook his head. "I think I know what's wrong but I don't want to bring this up until I've spoken to Lauren. I've seen it happen in a lot of athletes. But I'm not a doctor, it's just a hunch."

Steve glared at Sasha but for some reason he didn't yell at him. He saw how jaded the younger man seemed, he realised that he cared for his daughter. "Okay"

"Thank you" Sasha said, he was glad to avoid a row with one of the fiercest litigators in the state. Lauren came out of her room, her blonde hair hanging messily around her face, bags under her eyes.

"Can we come in, Lauren?" The blonde nodded wearily. And Sasha and Steve followed her. Lauren walked slowly and sat on her bed, Steve joined her and put his arm around her, Sasha took the chair by the desk, he looked at Lauren seriously. "I want you to answer some questions, and answer them honestly, please."

Lauren nodded. She normally would have rolled her eyes but she was pretty freaked about how crap she felt.

"Good. How long have you had trouble sleeping?"

Lauren paused, thinking about all the sleepless nights she'd had. She'd only started complaining a couple of weeks ago but... "2 months" she said, not meeting her father's eye. She knew he'd feel guilty for not noticing.

Sasha nodded "and have you been feeling achy and tired?"

"You know I have" Lauren whispered. "I also feel like every little thing is so hard and I'm really sensitive I get upset at the smallest things. It's freaking annoying." She said, suddenly tying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

"Honey, why didn't you tell me this?" Steve asked bewildered. Lauren had a tendency to whine about everything but she for some reason decided she didn't need to tell him that she was really not feeling good.

"I didn't want to bother you." Lauren said automatically and then paused, "and I was scared, I felt like, feel like I'm going crazy or something."

Steve silently put an arm around his daughter and kissed her head softly. "We'll get to the bottom of this Lo."

Normally Sasha would quip that Lauren _was_ crazy but this wasn't the time. He took both of his athlete's hands in his own and looked at her. He had no idea how to say this. He'd had similar conversations twice before and it never got easier. "Lauren I think you might be suffering from depression. Now I know it seems scary but many people have it. And often it's successful people. It's not a big deal, it's totally treatable and I know a doctor who'll be able to help you."

Lauren was dumbfounded. She'd heard about mental illnesses but she thought they just happened to crazy old cat ladies who had no friends. Normally she would have called Sasha an idiot and stormed out but she was so tired that all she had the energy to do was bury her head in her father's shoulder and cry. "I don't want this."

Steve wrapped his arms around Lauren "honey it's okay. This is totally normal. I got depressed when I was about your age."

Lauren looked up in surprise. Her Dad was _tough_ she could never imagine him like this. "When I was a first year law student, I moved cities. It was hard, I didn't know anyone, and I was shy. I was in a dorm with lots of outgoing overachievers who never really accepted me. Which is fine. You don't get on with everyone. But I found it really really tough. I was too scared to ask for help so I didn't make friends: it wasn't till I met your mother that I finally understood that I was sick, just like having a broken arm and that I could get help." Steve had tears in his eyes, he felt so guilty for not realising Lauren's problem earlier.

"Daddy why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry. You had enough going on. Come on, let's get you to the doctor ok?"

Lauren nodded tentatively and she followed her father out of the hotel room. She paused as she was about to open the door "Sasha, are you ok if we don't tell the other girls yet?"

"Of course, but they're worried about you."

"I know, but I want them to focus on the Olympics without worrying about me."

Sasha's jaw almost dropped. This kid might not have made the Olympic team today but she had grown up almost overnight. Or had he just not noticed how far she'd come. He hugged his athlete "I'm proud of you: I hope you know that. I couldn't be prouder, irrespective of whether you made the team."

Lauren gave a resigned smile "that means a lot Sasha, really." She said, blinking back tears. She wasn't ready to process that this quadrennium was over for her. She didn't want to think about the decisions she'd soon have to make.

XXX

**Family**

She and Steve walked in companionable silence. It was funny how you could become suddenly close to someone in just a couple of hours. She realised that she hardly knew her father. Well she knew him in a superficial sense: she knew how he took his coffee and what his favourite books were but she had no idea about his life before she was born, why he'd chosen the career he had and how he'd met her mum. "Daddy?"

"Mmm"

"Tell me about Mum, where did you meet her? When did you decide to get married? Where did she grow up?"

Her questions almost brought tears to Steve's eyes – he usually tried to keep those memories repressed because they hurt so much but it broke his heart how little Lauren knew. "Well your mother was one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. I met her when I went to a pub, my Mum, your grandma, was sick and I was upset. I was with a couple of people from my classes but I didn't know them all that well: I was terrible at making friends back then. I still I am I guess. And the boys started to get rowdy and I just felt more lonely. And then your Mum came over to me" Steve's eyes lit up at the memory "she had a smile on her face but she could tell I was upset. She bought me a beer and asked how my day was. I said fine, and she just frowned at me and said 'I can tell it wasn't, come on, spill' so I told her about Gran Tanner being in hospital and she just listened. And then we danced for a bit." Steve's eyes sparkled at the memory.

"Lauren, whatever you think of your mother, whatever the amount of pain she put us through. I want you to know that she was a remarkable woman and that she loved you very much."

Lauren was full on sobbing now. Partly for the fact she never knew that remarkable woman, partly that her Dad had bottled up so much for so long, partly because she never tried to help him through the hard times and finally she cried for not making the team. Steve just held her as she sobbed, huge gasping sobs with tears streaming everywhere. Steve kissed the top of her head. Lauren knew she must look like a loser but she couldn't care less. She and her father had struggled through this screwed up couple of years and people could damn well stare if they wanted to.

**The Olympics**

The girls sat in a circle, stretching in the royal blue leos they were going to wear for qualification: Sasha, worshipper of punctuality that he was, insisted that they be at the arena 45 minutes before they were meant to be there. Payson thought Sasha was the best coach ever but she couldn't help thinking that if this was her team she wouldn't do this because it was psyching Kaylie and Rosa out. The two girls looked progressively more nervous as she led them in each stretch.

"And stop. Good work." Sasha said, taking a deep breath. It was one thing to be an athlete competing, it was quite another to coach. At least being an athlete you had some sort of control: over your own performances at least, coaching just meant watching, hoping and praying that years of hard work would pay off.

He looked each of them in the eyes "how are we feeling?"

Kelly grinned at him, Payson looked at him seriously, Emily and the other two looked down. "We're ready" Payson said calmly.

Sasha smiled. "Well just in case you aren't, your assistant coach wanted to give you a few words." Payson was confused, she knew each team had to have one male and one female coach on the podium but she hadn't thought much about it, Rosa's coach was a guy but his wife helped out with the coaching so she assumed that she'd be the assistant coach, or maybe Darby, but that would have looked biased towards the Rock girls. She hadn't really worried about it much, all she needed was Sasha on the podium with her.

Then Kaylie and Kelly squealed and Payson looked up. Lauren was standing there! Kaylie sprinted over to hug her friend tightly, Emily followed closely behind her. Kelly gave one of her famous half smiles "it's about time you showed up, Tanner."

Lauren laughed "some of us have been busy, us coaches are very important people, we can't all play around in leotards all day." She quipped, almost keeping the pain out of her voice. Sasha gently squeezed her shoulder. The simple gesture helped her incredibly "now girls gather round. Very soon you'll walk through that door into the arena. I want you to ignore the cameras, the commentators, even the judges. You are the best in the world, all you need to do is your usual routines – you have absolutely nothing to be worried about. Go out there and show them who you are!" She put her hand in the middle of their huddle, Payson smiled and placed her hand on top of Lauren's the other girls and Sasha followed suit. Lauren nodded at Payson.

"Girls U-S-A on three, one, two, three..."

"USA!" they yelled.

Sasha smiled. That was more like it. "Line up ladies. We're about to get called in. He went to the front Rosa, the shortest, followed by Kaylie, Kelly and Emily. Payson thanks to her injury and time off was now the tallest, she hung back a bit with Lauren. "That was very big of you, Lo, agreeing to be assistant coach."

Lauren looked at Payson, to anyone else she would have lied and said it was a pleasure. But this was Payson, perhaps the person she admired more than anyone else in the world. "It was the hardest thing I've ever done, taking Sasha up on it, but I had to. For Kaylie."

Payson blinked rapidly to stop herself crying and making her mascara run, she hugged Lauren fiercely. "She is truly lucky to have you as a friend."

Lauren was almost in tears herself. Never, in a million years would she expect someone to say that to her. "Come on Keeler, we can't be a mess, not now, we have some finals to qualify for."

Payson grinned "sorry coach."

"You should be."

XXX

"So this is nice" Lauren said quietly, holding her burrito. She thought about eating it delicately, but she figured that Leo had known her since she was six and had seen her inebriated, exhausted and after running marathons before training. He was unlikely to be put off by her eating with big bites.

"It is I guess, I would never have guessed Ms Lauren Tanner would condescend to eating burritos, let alone like them."

Lauren threw her serviette at him "there are a lot of things you don't know about me. Besides sometimes when all you have is luxury it's nice to have normal food."

"I hear that." Leo said quietly. "And what is this about me not knowing much about you?"

Lauren raised one eyebrow "what's my favourite band?"

"Muse, although you would never admit it because you don't want to be seen as a hipster."

"Meh that was an easy one. What about my favourite book?"

"The Secret Garden, you liked it because your mum used to read it to you when you were young. Your first memory is of your mum taking you to gym class as a toddler, you've spend your entire life in gymnastics and yet you're afraid of heights, your favourite colour is green, you get hay fever, you love horses, you worry about your dad's health because he works too hard, and you had a crush on Viggo Mortensen when The Return of the King came out."

"You knew all that about…me?" Lauren had spent years being overshadowed by her friends and half ignored by her father. The revelation that someone cared that much about _her_ was amazing.

"Well I do have a photographic memory."

"I-I don't know whether to kiss you or call the cops because I've got a stalker."

Leo gave a wry smile "well it's that indecision that cost you Viggo – you need to commit, one way or another."

"Shut up" Lauren said and kissed her new boyfriend. If someone had told her a year ago that she didn't make the Olympic team and had been happier than she'd ever been in her life she would have called them crazy, but, she mused as Leo hugged her tightly, some things were more important than gymnastics.

"One question, when did you start liking me?"

Leo paused "A while ago I started to see flashes of the kind girl behind all of the drama. I saw her stick up for her friends, convince Sasha to let Kaylie train again, sacrifice her reputation and risk her friendships to help Emily towards her goal."

Lauren shook her head. "But why me? I'm screwed up, petty, insecure and _very_ high maintenance."

"Well I like a challenge."

Lauren raised an eyebrow and then started to tickle Leo mercilessly.

"Master, I give!"

Lauren reluctantly stopped tickling. "Want the rest of my milkshake?"

"I always knew you were a keeper."

XXX

Lauren was stunned into silence. Payson and Sasha. The day before floor finals at the freaking Olympics. "Wow"

"I know, I can hardly believe it's happened, finally, you're awful quiet." Payson said, noticing how Lauren wasn't saying much.

"I guess it's a lot to digest."

"But we love each other."

"I know that but-"

"Wait, what do you mean 'you know that'?"

"Payson, everyone can see the way you and Sasha look at each other at the gym, and as weird as it is with him being ancient and all the two of you are made for each other. I just hope you're ready. I mean you've got three Olympic medals, you can do whatever you want. Are you sure you want this now?"

"I've never been more sure of anything." Payson said softly "and please don't talk about post-Olympics, I don't want to think about it."

"Fair enough, it's kind of scary isn't it?"

"More than kind of scary, it's terrifying."

Lauren gripped her friend's hand. "it will be fine – I just don't want you to rush into this because you're scared about life after gymnastics." Lauren knew that Payson wouldn't return to gymnastics again, her body had been pushed too far.

Payson smiled "of course not" she said, although she realised that Lauren had a point. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do you know what you're going to do after this?"

Lauren took a deep breath "well I'm tossing up between varsity, volunteering, having a working holiday, or going back to training."

"Training?"

"You think it's stupid."

"No!" Payson didn't like how low Lauren's self esteem had been the past couple of months "I think it's a good idea! Only if you want to though."

"Really?"

"Of course – you're the best vaulter in the world, and your beam and floor aren't far behind."

Lauren smiled "that means a lot, coming from you. What about you, Pay?"

Payson shook her head "I don't even want to think about it. I want to be near Sasha, I know my body can't handle another competitive cycle but I'm too tired to think about studying. I'm a mess."

"You are many things, Payson Keeler, but a mess is not one of them."

Payson raised one eyebrow "I'm a nineteen year old with a broken back, who is currently breaking curfew after kissing her coach and has no immediate plans to go to college or get a job."

"Well when you put it like that…"

Payson laughed and tickled her friend mercilessly.

XXX

Kaylie rested her head on Kelly's shoulder while Emily, Payson, and Lauren were sprawled out on the floor of Payson's room.

"I can't believe it's over" Payson murmured. "We made it – together."

Lauren let out a sigh that was barely audible.

"Lauren, you did the best of all of us" Emily said "you came back with your head held high and I know I would not have made it without you. And I'm not just saying that, Lo – you are incredible."

Lauren wrapped her arms around Emily tightly, the tears that were always near the surface recently came down her cheeks, and before long Emily was crying too, from relief that the Olympics were over, from sadness that the Rock Rebels would never likely compete together again, to sadness for what Lauren was going through.

"Emily – I'm so sorry for the person that I was."

"None of that, it's forgotten. It's who you are that matters."

Lauren gave her friend a watery smile. "You are such a cheese."

"And you love me for it."

There was a knock on the door, Emily and Lauren dried their eyes and Kelly walked over to open it. She was taken aback to find four Olympic committee members staring back at her. "Hello – we are looking for Payson Keeler."

"That's me" Payson said softly, she got up and shook the hands of each of the men.

"Payson, we just wanted to let you know that we would like you to be the flag bearer for the United States. Your achievements and class have been a huge inspiration for young people throughout our country."

Payson put her hand over her mouth, and tears sprung into her eyes. "Of course, I would be honoured." She said softly.

**The future**

Lauren stared out to the Thames – it was an interesting river with all its history and she was glad she had the chance to explore London, regardless of the circumstances.

"So you've made your decision?" said a quiet voice.

Lauren turned to see Summer standing behind her in a blue dress.

Lauren nodded – she looked at the pills in her hand. She'd put off taking the anti-depressants during the games because she didn't want to worry about the side effects. "Yes I'll take them. I'm going to get well, and then I'm going to travel, and then I don't know I think I want to at least get that vault named after me."

Summer gave Lauren a long hug. "Yes you will."

"Thank you for everything Summer."

"Lauren, you're welcome – I'm so proud of the person you've become sugar. It's been an honour knowing you the past four years."

**A/N** so that (in a nutshell) is what happened to Lauren. Not nice, but she's got a long way to go and I'm really excited to write this story. You should definitely go back and read The Pied Piper if you want to get a better look at what happened to the other Rock girls (sorry about the blatant plug to my own story). I'm going to try and be good at life this time and update every Friday (NZ time) and if I don't I promise you'll get a bonus chapter when I next post. As always please let me know what you thought, and let me know if you've any suggestions about the story!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: the black dog**

Emily glared at her clothes. She had her leotards in one pile, day clothes in another, and her dresses and heels in another. She used to be completely unmaterialistic. Now she felt like Paris Hilton. She hadn't even thought about the pile of books she'd recently acquired in her time in London, especially in the week they'd had off since the end of the games.

"You do realise staring at them isn't going to make them pack themselves." Payson Keeler, Emily's best friend and London roommate was, of course, already packed. She was perched on the edge of her bed, suitcases, laptop case, and backpack all sitting around her neatly. Her bed was made. Emily's sheets looked like they'd been hit by a tornado.

"Bite me."

Payson laughed "come on, we've got two hours and I've recruited help. We'll get everything on the plane come hell or high water. We're Olympic champions. It's not like they're going to deny us a couple extra pounds of luggage."

Emily raised an eyebrow. "A couple of pounds perhaps, but this is going to fill four suitcases at least!"

"Don't worry, Sasha and Dad are each only taking one case – you can borrow theirs."

"Thank goodness for men."

"Don't let Damon hear you say that."

Emily grinned "he'd be more insufferable than he already is. You'd think he'd just competed at the Olympics for all the bragging he's doing."

Payson smiled at her friend. She was so happy for Emily and Damon. They'd been through hell and back the past two years. "He's just proud of you. Any normal person would be." Emily's story from poverty to being a three time Olympic medallist had made her a superstar, much to her annoyance.

"Stop it you're making me blush." Emily said sarcastically. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't let the Olympics change her. And she knew that as long as she was surrounded by her friends and family, she'd still manage to stay down to earth. "Are you going to help me pack, or just sit there smugly?"

Payson sighed "I am so good to you." She started folding Emily's leotards.

"Why are you folding them? I just shove them in then sit on my case and hope it shuts."

Payson rolled her eyes "fine, but don't complain to me when you have a mountain of ironing to do when we get home!"

XXX

Sasha glared at his watch, and then at his companions. "Where are they? They're going to miss the plane!"

"Chill coach, they'll get here – if you remember correctly, you insisted on getting here two hours before we needed to." Kelly Parker stretched her legs out in front of her in the private airport lounge. The team's agent, MJ had booked it for them so they wouldn't be harassed by the media before they boarded their plane back to the United States. Kelly was relieved. She could handle the media better than most, but she was exhausted. They all were. Getting to the Olympics, and then competing took everything you had. It was a thousand times harder than the World Championships – you had the huge pressure of the selection process, then the games, then the media, and finally the realisation that you'd reached your goals and the terrifying abyss that followed. She looked over at her friend Kaylie. She'd collapsed on the podium after beam finals last week and she was still recovering. She was curled up on the couch, with her head on her brother Leo's shoulder, she had huge bags under her eyes and she was very pale. But she was looking a lot better than she did before. She was relieved, over the past six months, she'd begun to regard Kaylie as the sister she'd never had.

Kaylie looked around her happily, she was really tired, but she had her family, her team, and her friends all around her. She also had two Olympic medals and she and Austin were closer than ever. Her parents, Ronnie and Alex looked like they were going to move back in together. All was well, for now anyway. She really didn't want to think about how everything would change the second they landed back on American soil. They'd have the tour of champions, but then? She had no idea. She knew that the others were more adventurous than her, but Kaylie was terrified about leaving Colorado.

Damon was bouncing James on his knee. He'd just had his first birthday and hadn't so much learnt to walk as learned to run. Fast, and to places where he was likely to injure himself. Summer, his adoptive mother worried but Damon just laughed and said that it was a sure sign he was destined to be a gymnast. "Mummy Emily!" James yelled and Damon looked up to see Emily and Payson running towards the rest of the group. Emily's hair looked as though it hadn't been brushed and she wasn't wearing any makeup. Although Damon loved it when she didn't wear it.

"Sorry we're late!" Payson said breathlessly "it took us a bit longer to pack than we thought!"

Lauren laughed "you mean Emily slept in and left packing up to the last minute?" She teased gently.

Emily poked her tongue out at her friend "lies!" She said before walking over to her son and kissing him on his head "hello gorgeous" she loved how he looked so much like Damon.

Darby, Emily's personal coach, tapped her athlete on her shoulder. "Glad you made it, Em, but you should probably tidy yourself up. There are going to be cameras galore when you land."

Emily nodded, and took the makeup bag that Darby pressed into her hand.

"And make sure that you're not around James when you land too, sweetie. The media would have a field day if they knew about him." MJ, the team's agent added. "And take my blusher, it will really suit your skin tone."

"Thanks" Emily said quietly. She knew that MJ and Darby wanted what was best for her but she couldn't be bothered with all this fame nonsense. She just wanted to be at home with Damon and then go to uni without anyone making a fuss of her.

"Payson sweetie, make sure you're ready to come off the plan looking like the star you are. Your Mum and sister can carry your bags, you're going to get people hovering over you like never before okay?"

The blonde, newly crowned all around Olympic champion nodded seriously.

"And Kell – I need you to look out for Rosa" MJ said to the team veteran "she's going to be a bit overwhelmed, but I know you can have the journos eating out of your hand. You're a legend when it comes to that.

Kelly grinned "got it MJ!" She fist bumped her agent, she and Rosa, the youngest member of the Olympic team had become great friends. And despite her complaining, Kelly really liked talking herself up for the media. So what? She was princess and proud of it.

"Kaylie doll, you and Austin should be ready to walk out together, ok?" MJ rubbed her hands together. This team, if they played their cards right could get more endorsements than any other gymnastics team the USA had ever produced.

Lauren watched this all from a corner and pretended to text. Breathe she told herself, it's going to be okay. She could hold on until she got home and saw her Dad. She watched her teammates, well they weren't her teammates any more, and hadn't been for months, she thought bitterly. _No, I can't think like that!_ She admonished herself _I'm happy for them, they've earned their medals and their fame and success_. And I'm going to be okay. It's going to take a while, but I'll get there. She followed the rest of their group onto the plane, she'd asked for a row by herself, and MJ had agreed. She was still in business class, and so protected from most of the intrusive fans. She pulled out her headphones and started to read _The Bean Trees_ by Barbara Kingsolver. She wasn't usually one for reading, but sometimes escaping into another person's world for a while.

Becca Keeler might not be a world class gymnast, but she was smart. And she knew that there was something Payson wasn't telling her, and she was pretty sure it had something to do with Sasha. So she ushered her parents to the back of business class, leaving Payson and Sasha to have the front row to themselves. Sasha ushered for Payson to take the window seat, which was her favourite. She sat down slowly, and looked into his eyes, as she did she felt a shiver up her spine. There was something simply about the presence of Sasha that made her feel more alive she couldn't explain it.

"I am so proud of you." Sasha whispered after he sat down.

Payson thought that was a weird thing to say, considering they were finally alone (sort of) together for the first time since their kiss before floor finals. Then she realised that he was waiting for her lead. He wasn't going to push her. Despite being known as the bad boy of gymnastics, he was a gentleman. At least he was around her.

"Of us, you mean. We got here together. In fact you did all the hard work I just followed what you said." Slowly, and a bit awkwardly, she put her hand in his, linking her fingers around his hand. Her hands fit perfectly together, and the shiver down her spine that happened whenever she looked into his eyes intensified by a thousand. Sasha's calloused hand gripped hers back. Payson knew that they couldn't get away with anything more, not with all their friends and family watching, but it was enough for now.

Kelly hated being away from her phone on plane trips. It wasn't the point that everyone who she would have normally been texting was actually on the plane with her, she needed to be connected. She sighed and put her headphones in her ears, at least she was in business class and not with the plebs in coach. She let Foster the People overtake her thoughts and emotions and she relaxed, and tried not to think about how much she hated flying. She must have dozed off, because after a while Rosa was shaking her awake.

"What the hell!" She yelled, then realised it was Rosa. "Oh sorry R – what's up?"

Rosa looked terrified, and Kelly felt awful. She'd taken the younger girl under her arm during the Games and not she was treating her like dirt.

"Sorry Kel – it's just that we've landed and MJ's on the rampage."

Kelly laughed. "Oh trust me, if you can't hear her screeching – she's not even started."

MJ stood up at the front of the plane. "Right everyone – this is a big moment! Families, you should probably go out first thing so that you can get to your luggage without being accosted, people won't really know who you are. Summer and James you should probably be first, right before everyone else." MJ's worst fear was that the media would get hold of the fact that one of America's sweethearts was a teenage mother. "Then the rest of the families. Then I'll go out and announce the rest of you"

Sasha I want you and Darby out first" MJ took particular satisfaction in bossing her former boyfriend around.

"Then I want Kelly and Rosa, then Kelly and Austin, then Emily and Damon, and finally, Payson – honey, you'll come out last by yourself."

The group excitedly followed MJ's instructions, all of them but Lauren. And then Lauren realised, she wasn't part of the special group, she was just to go out with the rest of the families. Forcing herself not to cry she picked up her laptop bag, swung her backpack over her shoulder, and walked off the plane with Summer and James. Summer put an arm around her, and Lauren appreciated the gesture immensely.

"It's going to be okay, you're so brave for coming to London to support your friends."

Lauren smiled. Summer's sympathy somehow made her feel even worse. She walked off the plane, there were even more people there than she'd expected. People were waving United States flags, screaming for autographs, and cameras were going off everywhere. Few people recognised her, so she managed quickly to get her luggage, before coming back to wait for her friends.

XXX

When the team walked out the crowd literally screamed with excitement, and to Lauren it felt like someone was piercing her heart, she watched her teammates. The girls she'd grown up with in the gym, the girls she'd won a world championships team gold medal with were now Olympic Champions. They were part of a team that would bind them together for the rest of their lives. And Lauren knew she should be happy for them but she felt like someone was squeezing her chest tightly, and then the memories came. Thick and fast, memories from her childhood, her mother leaving, the way she'd hurt her friends, that awful night with Carter Anderson all those years ago, finding out her mother had died, Max choosing Payson over her, Emily being announced as the fifth member of the Olympic team, meaning that she would not be travelling to London, countless nights of her father not coming home.

Then she saw Kim and Becca hugging Payson, Emily being hugged by Brian, Chloe, Margi, Jenna, and Larissa, Kaylie being surrounded by her family, Kelly being hugged tentatively by Sheila and Rosa's father spinning her around. She felt like she wanted to die, then she realised she wasn't breathing properly. Her breaths were coming thick and fast, she tried to slow them down, so that no one would notice.

Summer gripped her shoulders "Lauren, honey are you okay?"

Lauren forced herself to smile, although it took every effort she could muster. "I'm fine – I think I just ate something funny on the plane, excuse me."

She ran to the bathroom, went into one of the stalls, and slammed the door. She rummaged in her bag for her anti-depressants. She'd been putting off taking them, part of her had denied she even needed them. But she was desperate. She ripped open the box and popped a pill out of its capsule. With shaking hands she pulled out her drink bottle and swallowed the pill. "Work, damnit- please work!" She whispered.

**A/N so this was a pretty preliminary chapter – there are some of my own characters from The Pied Piper who are carried over, especially Margi who is Chloe's best friend. Emily went to stay with her when she was pregnant. James is Emily and Damon's son. Summer adopted him, Darby coached Emily before she rejoined the Rock. Darby was a teen mother as well – and her daughter Jenna ended up with Margi. Confusing I know! Jenna only learned she was Darby's daughter at the very end of the Pied Piper. So I hope that all makes sense. Larissa is Margi's foster daughter, and Rosa is an elite gymnast and the youngest member of the 2012 Olympic team. **

**Lauren's story, as I've said before, is not an easy one. But she's a fighter! Please let me know what you thought and I hope you all have a good weekend. Next chapter in a week **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck, some nights I call it a draw.**

Sasha sat inside the Rock's main training hall. He felt empty. Macey, the new gym manager had told her that he'd been inundated with applications from parents eager to move their daughters to the new best gym in the country. He also knew he needed to sort out a new training programme for his new juniors. He knew as well as anyone that in gymnastics you had to get up just as fast as you could, post-Olympic period or not. But it wasn't the same without his girls, women, he corrected himself. They were grown up know. He smiled at the photo of them in his office, of them all hugging him after they won the team gold. Those girls had given him more heartache and headaches than any other people on the planet. They'd been hard to coach, and they'd all been through hell and back, in their particular ways, and his life felt empty without them. Payson in particular. A big part of him had been really excited for the Olympics to end so he could finally address the feelings that had been inside him for so long, but now? The obstacles seemed huge. Her family, both of their reputations, the age gap? It all seemed too much. Payson was not even twenty and he didn't want to bog her down, but he couldn't deny that she was the love of his life. He rolled his eyes, if only his mother could see him now, he thought, acting like a lovesick puppy for a girl who'd not even been gone a week, when there was work to be done. He put the photo down and started to read through the applications. The pile was enormous.

"Sasha?"

The blond man looked up and smiled, "hey Darby, you missed me that much did you?" The two coaches had had an interesting relationship, the first time they'd met Sasha had bitten Darby's head off for not coaching his athletes properly in Romania, and they'd often been at odds about how to co-coach Emily. It had paid off in the end though.

"I couldn't stay away." Darby said with a wry smile. Then more seriously she added "it's so odd being away from the girls, and not having anyone to yell at. Turns out it was quite the catharsis."

Sasha laughed "my coaching habits have rubbed off on you too much."

"Well you are 'The best coach in the history of gymnastics'" Darby said teasingly, it was an accolade that the NGO had given him after the games. He found it funny how the organisation was willing to kiss his feet now after years of ostracising him.

Sasha rolled his eyes "fat lot of good it's done me, I've got 500 new applications from gymnasts wanting to move here and none of my seniors have stayed on to help me coach."

Darby laughed "you couldn't expect them to drop everything after winning gold to start coaching, not when they've got all these opportunities available to them." Payson, Kelly, Kaylie, Rosa, and Emily had been touring the country, they'd even met the president. Then they were going on the tour of champions. "Besides Kelly and Emily are starting Harvard in a year, you knew that."

"I know, but you can let an old man dream can't you?"

"I suppose, anyway you hinted that you were keen for another coach?"

Sasha looked up surprised "are you offering to be my assistant?" he asked excitedly "I would have thought that you'd want to start your own gym now that you've successfully coached your own Olympian."

"No I'm not interested in being your assistant. I am however willing to be your co-coach. That would, however, mean that we would be equals."

Sasha raised an eyebrow and didn't say anything, Darby was worried that she'd overstepped. After all Sasha was a four time Olympic champion and had coached Kaylie and Payson all through last quad, as well as putting a lot of time into the other Olympians. After what seem like an age Sasha finally spoke "fine – that means you get to help me with these!" He through half of the huge pile of paper applications at her.

XXX

Darby walked back to her apartment with a spring in her step. She was glad Sasha had agreed to her plan, he'd called in the chairman of the board and she'd signed her contract. Now she just needed to figure out the other huge issue in her life, Jenna. It had been nice getting to know the girl over the past few weeks, and she was glad it was the summer holidays so that she could stay in Boulder with Margi and Larissa in a motel. Emily had very generously paid for it. She had enough money now to pay for four years of Harvard, as well earn money on top to support her family. The first thing she'd done was buy Chloe a new house. Darby was there when the slight girl had handed the key over to her mother, Chloe's look of surprise had been priceless, and the tears that followed even more so. Emily had also set up a trust for Brian and his education.

Darby got in her car and drove over to the café where she was set to meet Margi, Jenna's foster mother, and Chloe's best friend. It was a cute rustic place, one of the few places in Boulder that was free from teenagers enjoying their summer break. Margi, was unusually punctual and was waiting for her. She grinned when she saw the younger woman.

"Hi D – good to see you!"

Darby grinned back – Margi had the ability to make anyone feel at ease, she was hands down the most caring person Darby knew. Darby gave the older woman a quick hug.

After they'd both ordered their coffees they got to the crux of why they'd decided to meet. Darby's daughter, Jenna who'd she'd given up for adoption in order to pursue her Olympic dreams. She'd had a rough start to life and had eventually ended up in Margi's care.

"I've decided" Darby said quietly.

Margi waited patiently for her friend to speak. She was as patient as the earth.

"If Jenna wants to, I want her to live here, with me. I want to give her the home she never had." She cringed and realised she was being insensitive. "I mean I want to take up my role as her mother, but I completely understand if she wants to stay with you and her foster siblings."

Margi nodded and smiled. Jenna was painfully shy but during her time supporting Emily during the Olympic selection process, and then in London, she'd become infatuated with gymnastics. And even though she seldom spoke her mind, Margi could see that she'd come to regard Emily, and to a lesser extent, Darby as older sisters. And then when Darby had finally told Jenna a month ago that she was her biological mother, Jenna seemed more at peace.

"It will be a hard road. You legally revoked your parental rights when you gave her up for adoption. But Jenna's a ward of the state, and you're her biological mother with a stable job. Well as stable as you can be having you and Sasha in the same building for long periods of time."

"Oh bite your tongue!"

"So you're going to fight for her, and I'm going to help. Jenna has made her decision I think."

Darby grinned. Suddenly a part of her that had been missing for eight years fell back into place.

XXX

Sasha put down his phone. He'd tried to call Lauren several times but each time Steve had answered and said that Lauren wasn't receiving visitors. His stomach churned. He wished he'd picked up the warning signs earlier, but he knew that, like most gymnasts, there would have been no way she would have reduced her training in an Olympic year. He sighed and went back down to the floor.

He clapped his hands and the gymnasts turned to face him. "Line up please" he said quietly, and the girls stood to attention in height order, while the boys and men stood behind the girls, also in height order. Sasha loved doing this, it made him feel tall, which didn't happen often.

"Each year I make a speech. This year is different. For many of you you will have just watched your first Olympics where you personally knew people competing. You have seen the dedication and passion exhibited that allowed them to get as far as they did. I hope you will learn two things from this. First – you are all capable of amazing things if you believe in yourselves and work hard. Each of the Olympians were girls just like you once, practicing long and hard and their dreams came true. The second thing is that no matter how hard you work, your dream can be stripped away from you in an instant. You will have all seen Lauren at trials, Payson at 2009 nationals, and Kaylie at World's trials. I want you to learn from your failures and work as hard as you can, because you never know when your dream might come to an end. Now I expect you all to bring your dedication each and every day. There are many people who would love to be in your position at the moment. In my office I have hundreds of applications from people who want to be just like you, and I assure you that if you do not meet my requirements, I will have no qualms in making you leave. Finally I want to introduce you to your team captain Rachel Harris – she is the most senior member of our team and did well at nationals last year."

The girls clapped, as Rachel grinned. The girl had been a first year senior in an Olympic year. And had trained alongside the Rock Rebels. She'd gained tremendous confidence training alongside those girls. He went to watch her train her floor routine. It was good, great even. But it wasn't the same as Payson's or Emily's – the gold and bronze medallists from the Games. He shook himself mentally, that quad was over. Payson and Emily weren't returning, he needed to focus on the new guard now.

After watching the girls on floor he moved to those on the beam. He had a couple of promising juniors who he was going to try and qualify elite later in the season. Suddenly the female gymnasts seemed distracted, he looked around angrily to see what the cause was. He sighed, Leo Cruz had just walked into the gym. He was ridiculously good looking and he also looked agitated. "Get back to work!" He screamed at his gymnasts. "Did you not hear me earlier? I train champions and I expect you to act accordingly!"

He walked over to Leo "what's up? You're not keen to start training again are you?" He joked.

Leo gave a half smile "not in the mood Sasha. Have you heard from Lo? I keep trying to call and text but she's not answering."

Sasha sighed, Lauren was going through hell, but he didn't think shutting people out worked that well. He gripped Leo's shoulder. "No, son I haven't, Steve says she wants to be alone at the moment, but the second I hear from her you'll be the first to know!"

Leo nodded quietly "thanks, I should probably go, before I disturb your gymnasts any more."

XXX

Lauren lay in her bed, at least that's where she thought she was. She recognised the photos on her walls and her trophies, so she assumed she must be there. She could barely look at the trophies, they triggered memories, of all the bad things she'd done to her teammates, of her fall at trials, of the team announcement. She couldn't get them out of her mind. She tried to think of something happy but she couldn't. She tried to think about her Dad, but all she could remember was how he'd hidden the fact of her mother's death from her. She remembered her seven year old self looking on at her Mum sticking a needle in her arm. She remembered her father coming in and yelling at her mother, then Lauren being sent to Gran Tanner's for two months, and coming back and her mother not being there. Lauren cried, hard and fast. In the back of her mind she wondered how she had any tears left.

There was a banging sound, Lauren tried to sit up to see what it was. It was so dark. Then she realised someone was knocking. "Come in" she croaked. It was so hard to speak in the week she'd started taking the meds.

A familiar man came into her room, she wondered how she knew him and what he was doing here. Then she realised it was her father.

"Hi Daddy"

Steve Tanner walked softly over to his only child. She looked so pale. He remembered how hard it was first taking the drugs, they tended to make things worse before things got better. "Hi sweetie, do you want to go for a walk?"

Lauren was suddenly filled with panic, she couldn't leave the house! Everyone would be staring at her and talking about her. She didn't blame them either, she was such a terrible person.

"I can't Daddy." She said tearfully. Then suddenly a wave of nausea hit her. She clapped her hand over her mouth.

Nausea, dizziness and paranoia – Steve sadly remembered all the awful side effects. He picked up the silver bowl the maid had left by her bed, and Lauren dry retched.

He came and sat by the bed and hugged her tightly. He kissed her head, that was drenched with sweat. "We'll drive out to the nature reserve, there won't be anyone else there – I promise. And we can listen to Muse on the drive. You can bring your iPod to listen to while we walk as well, if you like."

Lauren nodded reluctantly, listening to music somehow lessened the effects of the feelings she was experiencing. As long as it was music that hadn't been used as floor music.

Stepping outside was hard, but when she felt the sun on her she felt a bit better. Steve held her arm as she walked to the car, and they drove in silence, apart from the music in the background. Lauren peered out the window, looking at the familiar city where she'd spent her whole life growing up. Spruce Juice where she'd spent many hours with her teammates after a workout. Lauren let a tear slip down her cheek, Lauren the Rock Rebel seemed like an entirely different person.

Steve drove their 4WD up into the nature reserve, and parked it on the gravel carpark. He was right, there were no other cars there. Lauren slowly got out of the car. He was relieved. She'd only been on their property in the week they'd been home, she'd refused all visitors. Even Summer. Lauren tentatively linked her fingers with her father's and they made their way into the reserve. Lauren suddenly felt calmer, being around the trees and flowers. The gnawing pain in her stomach eased and the feeling of sadness eased a little bit.

Steve smiled, he'd done the right thing. "Look sweetie, over there." He pointed to a butterfly coming out of its chrysalis.

Lauren watched the small delicate creature fighting its way out of the cocoon, it's bright orange wings beginning to flap. It was struggling hard against the strong chrysalis. Eventually it broke free and began to fly, tentatively at first, then it became more confidence and flapped its pretty wings faster and harder until it managed to fly away.

XXX

Kelly groaned at her alarm clock "I hate this."

"Cheer up sunshine! We've only got one more week left on tour then you can to Europe." Kaylie bubbled. She had loved tour, it meant that she got to dance and perform in pretty costumes, and she could put off those awful thoughts about what she was going to do after the Olympics for a bit longer. It helped that she was with her friends as well. Well apart from Lauren, she bit her lip. She hadn't heard from her friend in the three weeks since they'd landed back in the States. She'd called and texted but there'd been no reply. Steve had emailed them weekly to let them know how she was going but it wasn't the same not hearing her voice. Lauren was her oldest friend, and although they'd had their ups and downs over the years, she wasn't used to not having her friend around her.

"I should have roomed with Emily!" Kelly growled. Emily and Kelly were renowned by now for the abhorrence of mornings.

"Then you would never get to training! Come _on_! Aren't you excited for dance practice?"

"I hate dancing!" Kelly growled, forcing one leg after the other out of her bed. She stumbled into the bathroom to get changed into her singlet and shorts, at least it was better than wearing a leotard, she thought grumpily.

The practice went well. Kelly and Emily were the stars of the show – their natural dance ability had made them favourites with the trainers. Afterwards their showers they went down to the local Spruce Juice, the place reminded them fondly of their days at the Rock. Payson was ordering her drink when her phone rang.

"Payson speaking"

"Pay, it's Sasha."

Warm fuzzies spread through Payson's body, she'd missed his voice. "Sasha it's so good to hear from you." She could see the other girls looking cheekily over at her so she walked somewhere private.

"You too, I was just um wondering, do you want to go to the ballet when you get back?"

Payson withheld a squeal of delight, but only just. She hadn't been this happy since she'd won all-around gold. "Oh Sasha!"

XXX

Sunlight streamed through her curtains, and Lauren opened her eyes. Birds were singing outside, and for the first time in ages she didn't have a headache. She smiled, in fact the feeling of melancholy felt lighter than it had in years. She got up and made herself some poached eggs. She smiled when her father came downstairs.

"Morning" she said brightly.

Steve grinned and kissed his daughter on the cheek "it's great to see up sugar."

"I slept for eight whole hours last night!"

"Lauren that's amazing!"

Lauren smiled "I think I'm ready to go back to the gym."

Steve's smile became rather fixed – he didn't want Lauren to realise how hard this was going to be for her. She hadn't trained properly since trials, and she was going to have side effects she'd still be recovering from.

"Daddy?"

"Honey I don't think you're ready to go back just yet."

**A/N another transition chapter! But things will start moving faster I promise. Thanks to all who read this! Please let me know what you thought, and have a great weekend **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: The girls are back in town**

Lauren glared at her Dad. And Steve almost laughed, it was good to see Lauren being feisty again. Although he knew he wouldn't be saying that when she was back to normal. "Not ready to go in the gym? Daddy I wasn't asking you – I was telling you."

Steve had to bite his tongue from laughing. But he had to be strict with his girl. She'd been through a rough ride recently and he knew better than anyone that depression didn't go away the first day you felt slightly better than normal, and it certainly wasn't fixed just because you had a good night's sleep. He placed the tips of his fingers together and looked over them, as he often did with clients with whom he was about to have a difficult conversation. "Honey I hate to say this, but gymnastics is hard. Making a comeback is near impossible, and on top of that you're very sick. I know you feel better today, but I promise you the second you walk back into the Rock you're going to be inundated with memories, and you'll be fighting them as well as your body every single day. And if you go back too quickly your body and mind won't be able to handle it. And I know you feel normal today, but I want you to wait until you've had at least two weeks of feeling normal before you even set foot in the gym."

Lauren glared at her father. How dare he suggest she not know how hard a comeback was?! She'd seen Payson, Kaylie, and Emily all pull comebacks. She was a gymnast, he was just a lawyer. Gymnasts were the toughest people on the planet – she knew what she could handle!

"Daddy – what if I just went anyway? It's not like I'm a kid anymore."

Steve sighed, he was terrible at disciplining Lauren. Summer and even Chloe had told him this several times. But he'd been through was his girl was going through and he knew that he had to be cruel to be kind, even if it broke his heart. He spoke quietly "you may no longer be a minor, but I was the one who paid your gym fees. If you were to return to the gym, I would inform Sasha that he would not be receiving payment for your tuition until I gave clearance."

"Whatever, Sasha wouldn't care! He'd train me for free."

"Perhaps he would, Lauren. But he wouldn't if he knew you weren't well."

Lauren did not like this new side of her father. "Fuck you, Dad." She said and stormed out of the kitchen. He heard her slam the front door a couple of seconds later. Steve winced. Lauren was becoming like a combination of his mother and his ex-wife more and more each day. It was a terrifying thought.

He picked up his phone and dialled a number from memory. "Summer? It's Steve Tanner here. I might be wrong but I think you're going to be having an unexpected visitor very shortly."

XXX

The standing ovation was incredible. The crowd in the Tour of Champions was made up mostly of teenagers who'd watched them rise up through the ranks; they cheered the girls like crazy. Kaylie couldn't help it as tears started streaming down her face. Kelly grinned and hugged her friend. They were all so tired from their tough year. The tour was fun but it was also gruelling. They bowed for the last time then the crowd came down, and they signed autograph after autograph.

A girl who was about seven walked up to Emily. She was accompanied by her mother. They were both dressed in cheap clothes. Emily could tell they were second hand. Her heart went out to the girl.

"Hi sweetie, what's your name?"

"Bella" the girl answered.

"That's a very pretty name, are you a gymnast?"

The little girl nodded. "Me and my sisters."

Emily gave the girl a quick hug and the girl grinned. Her two front teeth were missing.

After Bella had gone back to join her sisters, her mother spoke "I just wanted to thank you, Emily. Our family, well we're not wealthy, and a lot of the girls at the gym are. But seeing you do what you did in London, it motivated me to keep going, to keep pushing them to follow their dreams no matter what."

Emily felt like crying. "Thank you for saying that, honestly having people like you who believe in us and support us is worth more than any medal." She gave the older woman a quick hug, feeling like she was walking on air.

She walked over to the exit to meet the other girls. Kelly slapped her on the back. "Look at you, you little inspiration-maker, you."

Emily rolled her eyes and punched Kelly gently on the shoulder. "Like you haven't been secretly glad you've got boys fighting their way to see you."

"I, unlike some people, don't have time for boys. I'm going to Harvard."

Emily laughed. "Make sure they book you an extra room for your ego."

"Oh _no you did not just go there!_" Kelly yelled and started to tickle Emily mercilessly. Eventually Emily fell to the ground "master I give."

Payson walked up to her friends and raised an eyebrow. "We have been together for far too long. I can't wait to go home tomorrow."

"Home" Emily sighed wistfully, "with no roommate to wake me up at the crack of dawn."

"No training" Kelly said happily "all the chocolate we can eat."

Payson smiled ruefully, then looked at Kaylie, she looked miserable. Payson touched her shoulder gently. "We'll still keep in touch Kales. And Emily and Kelly will still come back to Boulder for some of the holidays."

To her surprise Kaylie had tears in her eyes. "It's not the same though, Pay. As soon as we get back, we'll never be properly together again. You've all got amazing plans to travel, go to fancy universities, tour the world. All I want to do is be with my friends and family."

Payson smiled at Kaylie. She was one of the most privileged people Payson knew, but her ambitions were so simple. Too simple, Payson sometimes thought. "I know honey." She hugged the shorter girl tightly and tried not to think about what coming home would mean for her.

XXX

Their arrival in Boulder had been insane. There'd been a parade, much like the one after nationals all those years ago. Payson, Kelly, and Emily endured it. Kaylie of course loved it. But after all the interviews, the balloons, and the speeches the best part was coming back to the Rock. They'd seen Sasha briefly at the parade and at some of the interviews but they hadn't taken time to talk to him properly. Not since the Olympic finals. They'd decided to come in at 2pm, when all the girls apart from Rachel and the two junior elites were at school.

Payson opened the side door of the gym quietly. She felt happy and sad at the same time. Happy because this gym, the Rock had been her home for almost ten years. She'd spent more time here than with her parents. She'd done most of her growing up in this room, she'd learned confidence and courage during her training on each apparatus. She'd felt the europhia of victory and the bitterness of defeat. This building had been the place where her dreams had come true. But she knew walking in now, that her elite career was undoubtedly behind her. She'd grown over the tour, and her back couldn't take the pounding that the sport required. Each of her teammates might be able to come back, but she couldn't. And that was hard.

Rachel was being coached by Sasha on the vault, while Darby had Penny and Jody – the twin junior elites on the uneven bars. Payson, Kaylie, Kelly, and Emily all quietly went to sit on the beam. Everyone was so focused that they didn't notice them. Then Rosa, after completing an Amanar saw the girls. She squealed and ran over to them.

"You're so sneaky! You could have called to say you were coming!" She went up and hugged each of her teammates tightly. And they all hugged her back. Rosa had been the baby of the Rock team last year but she'd become so much more confident after seeing her teammates dominate in London. Darby was next, Penny and Jody following nervously. She hugged each of them in turn, when she got to Emily she kissed her on each cheek "I've missed you Em. These two aren't nearly as stroppy as you were."

Emily raised an eyebrow "give them time." Then she addressed the two juniors who looked overawed at the presence of four Olympians. "Darby's all right. Sasha's the one who'll have you begging for mercy. I loved your tkachev by the way Penny, very clean." The thirteen year old blushed deeply.

Finally Sasha walked over to his girls. His heart warmed at seeing each of them. He hugged Kaylie, fistbumped Kelly, Kissed Emily's forehead and then looked at Payson, a fire in his eyes. Payson's heart melted just seeing Sasha. Then she didn't know what came over her, she just felt herself rushing towards him and hugging him. Then suddenly he'd picked her up and they were kissing. The world had stopped, nothing else mattered except that she was with Sasha, finally. All the emotions of the Olympics and the extreme fatigue she was under lifted. After what felt like eternity and a split second at the same time she heard Kelly clear her throat loudly. Sasha blushed and clumsily let Payson slide down to her feet. She looked at the floor and hurriedly pretended to straighten her jacket.

"Well that explains more than it doesn't." Darby said teasingly.

"Yes, uh, well it was nice seeing you girls, and feel free to pop back into the gym at anytime. You're always welcome here."

"Clearly – that was quite the welcome back you gave Payson." Rachel said.

"I liked you better when you were shy" Sasha snapped.

Payson grinned. "We'd best be going." She tried to talk normally but her head and heart were racing a thousand miles a minute.

XXX

So even if Sasha and her father were being useless and not letting her back in the gym, she was going to prove them both wrong. Her drugs had started working, she was sleeping. There was no reason why she shouldn't be back in the gym. She was a freaking world champion! She'd been building up her running, and she could now get to 10km fairly easy. It was a far cry from the half marathon she used to do every Saturday morning before practice, but she was getting there. She lay on her bed. It felt so good to be getting physically strong again. She'd never known what it felt like not to exercise until the past few months. It helped her mood so much. She was also excited that the girls were coming around. She'd managed to watch the parade on the TV with Leo. He'd held her hand throughout. And although it made her a bit teary, part of her was happy and proud. She'd been the assistant Olympic coach. She'd helped them all get their gold medal, Kaylie especially. But it still hurt, knowing that she could have been on the team. Leo had hugged her for a long time afterwards, she loved how patient he was.

Finally after almost two weeks since her teammates had come home, she'd felt ready to see them. There was a knock on the door and she ran down the stairs. She opened the door to see her teammates. They stood there, smiling nervously, and Lauren hugged each of them tightly. Then before she knew what she was doing she started crying, hard.

Payson gulped "Lo – what's wrong?"

Lauren grinned under her tears "it's nothing, it's just that I've missed you all so much!"

Kelly grinned back "we've missed you, too LoTan. I've been with the three angels here, it's been nauseating."

"Bite your tongue" Emily snipped back. "But seriously Lauren, it sucked not having you on tour – why didn't you come? Darby said you'd been offered a spot."

The tears came back, "I ha-had the meds and they made things worse and now Dad and Sasha don't think I'm even ready to go back inside the gym, let alone do gymnastics."

"What?!" Payson almost yelled

Kaylie snorted "hello didn't he see you in London! You got us through the team final!"

They kept complaining all the way up to Lauren's room, blasting Sasha and Steve for being so narrow minded. Eventually Emily yelled "guys will you just shut up?!"

The girls all turned surprised, to their quietest friend. Once they'd all stopped talking and looked at her Emily continued. "Just because Sasha and Mr Tanner say Lauren can't do gymnastics doesn't mean she can't train in the gym."

"Kmetko I have a feeling you're about to say something that's going to make me very proud." Kelly said cautiously.

"There are a whole bunch of hours that Sasha isn't in the gym, and I still have a key." She held up the spare key that Damon had nicked when she'd first been kicked out of the gym all those years ago. "Lauren, how do you feel about a little nighttime training?"

"Emily, are you seriously suggesting Lauren should break into the gym to train?" Kaylie asked, shocked.

"No" Emily said.

Kaylie breathed a sigh of relief.

"No, I'm suggesting we all break into the gym to help Lauren train."

Kelly whooped and gave Emily a high five. "And the Rock Rebels are back in town."

"Sasha is going to be so mad!" Payson murmured.

They all turned to look at her.

"Payson, this is a whole new conversation."

"What? What happened?" Lauren asked curiously.

Emily sighed "Payson and Sasha um.."

"Kissed we kissed, ok?"

Lauren screeched "oh Payson! I'm so happy for you!"

"Wait, you knew?" Emily asked a bit jealously. She'd always considered herself to be Emily's best friend.

Lauren smiled. "Our team captain, and our head coach um _bonded_ the night before team finals and she came to tell me. She didn't want to distract the rest of you. I told you I'd keep a secret." Lauren said almost accusingly.

"And I believed you, Lauren." Payson said softly. "I knew you'd keep it a secret." She came and hugged her friend.

"Wow – Pay. I don't know what to say." Emily said quietly. "It's hard to take in, but if you're happy?"

Payson nodded – tears in her eyes "I feel complete when I'm with him." She said quietly.

Emily smiled, that was exactly how she felt with Damon. She walked over to hug her friend. "Then I will stand by you when people mock you because of this. Because you and Sasha are both incredible."

"I've got your back too" Kaylie said quietly, wrapping her arms around Emily and Payson. Kelly and Lauren joined them. Their family of five sisters was back together again.

XXX

"So this is the kitchen." Darby said nervously, showing Jenna the light blue room. Jenna gave a tight smile, and Darby returned it with a small smile of her own. She walked down the narrow hallway of her apartment, of _their _apartment Darby corrected herself. She was living with her daughter now. The concept seemed so strange to her. It was everything she'd ever dreamed of but at the same time it was a thousand times harder. She wished that she and Jenna were more alike. Darby had always been bubbly and outgoing. It was just the way she was. Jenna was reserved, she'd only seen the nine year old smile when she was doing gymnastics or reading.

"And this is your room." Darby took a deep breath and opened the door. She'd spent weeks doing nothing but organising this room for her girl. She'd painted it green with Chloe and Summer's help, and Emily had given her a lot of money to fill the wall high bookshelves with Jenna's favourite books. She had a window seat and two bean bags. She'd also framed some of her art, and a large photo of Jenna with Margi, Larissa, and Emily: her foster family.

Jenna was silent for a while and Darby's heart leapt into her mouth. What if she didn't like it? She had failed as a mother already. And then Jenna started to cry, big wretching sobs.

"Oh honey what is it? I'm so, so sorry." She hugged the tiny girl.

"It's beautiful, no one's ever done anything this nice for me ever. You're a dream come true, Mummy."

"Oh Jenna – I am so, so, sorry it took me this long to find you." She kissed her daughter on the head. It was going to be ok.

XXX

"Shh!" Kelly said to Kaylie who couldn't stop giggling. "I need to figure out the alarm code, you won't be laughing if the alarm goes off and Sasha finds us."

Kaylie put a hand over her mouth to stop herself giggling.

"You know, until you came to the gym Emily I was such a good girl, never did anything wrong, always toed the line."

Emily raised an eyebrow. "Pots, kettles, coach kissing et cetera."

Before Payson could reply Kelly whooped "and we're in. Right Coach Tanner, it's time for the roles to be reversed. Get your arse on the floor and give me fifty push ups and 100 lunges."

Lauren rolled her eyes. Trust Kelly to enjoy holding power over her. She did as she was asked. It felt good to be doing her old conditioning exercises.

"Now – bars" Payson said once Lauren was done.

"Bars? Seriously?" Bars were Lauren's weakest event. By far.

Payson glared at her friend. _She is going to be soo scary if she ever decides to coach_ Lauren thought to herself. "Ok, no arguing – got it." She sighed and mounted the high bar. Her arms felt like they were screaming. She managed half a pirouette then landed square on her face, letting out several expletives before getting back on her feet. She saw Payson looking unsympathetic, and Lauren rolled her eyes "I know I know, there's no time to feel sorry for myself" she said and jumped up to the bar. _I feel SO sorry for Pay and Sasha's kids if they ever have any. They'll be the toughest two parents on the planet._

**A/N so Lo is back in the gym! Next chapter – Sasha and Payson go to the ballet, and one Mark Keeler gets angry, Jenna starts school and we catch up with Becca and Brian. See you next Friday! Please let me know what you thought, reviews are always appreciated! xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years, I will love you for a thousand more**

Swan Lake was Payson's favourite ballet. Sasha had made her watch copious performances of different dances during her comeback, and she'd never tired of this one. The grace of the lead dancer was captivating. But tonight she couldn't focus on the music, the dancing, or the props. All she could think about was the man sitting next to her, she felt like she was on fire every time his arm brushed hers on their shared arm rest. She bit her lip from yelping with excitement when he bent his head towards her and whispered in her ear.

"Are you having fun?"

Payson smiled at him, her heart melted when she saw how vulnerable he looked. He needed her approval. This sensitive caring side of him was so different to the tough coach that he portrayed to the world. She leant her head up and kissed him softly, and Sasha tenderly cupped her cheeks with his hands and returned the kiss.

"Does that answer your question?" Payson quipped gently, once she'd recovered from the kiss. She'd always been shy around boys, with Nicky and then Max, she'd been so unsure of herself. But she knew Sasha almost as well as she knew herself in a way. Being a gymnast was tough, and as her coach he'd been by her side almost her entire journey, and she felt safe with him. She'd trusted him with her dream so she knew she could trust him with her heart.

Sasha smiled and linked his hand with hers, his thumb rubbing her fingers. He couldn't explain how he felt for Payson, he'd bottled it up and shut it up for so long, but now he felt_ alive_. There was no other way of describing it. Payson was the first person he'd met who was as passionate and focused as he was. Payson leant her head against his shoulder and they watched the rest of the ballet in silence.

Sasha took them out to his favourite gelato shop. He loved how Payson looked so elegant in her midnight blue cocktail dress, but at the same time she still was learning to walk in heels, her ankles would roll out slightly each time she took a step, as she adjusted her balance. He took her arm and they sat with their ice-cream. Payson had ordered passion fruit, her favourite, while he had blueberry. He made a point of ordering a different flavour every time.

"How's training going?" Payson asked. Sasha didn't know about Lauren's new training yet, and Payson was so tired coming up with a plan for Lauren, as well as coaching her but she still missed the Rock during the day. It had been her home for so long, and it was strange no longer having her own gymnastics goals.

Sasha smiled "well I now have Darby as my co-coach and Rachel as my team captain. Let's just say it's heated. But the new girls are great."

Payson raised an eyebrow "I highly doubt Rachel is as capable as Lauren at doing your head in."

"Not quite, but she learned from the best."

Payson giggled. It was nice how Rachel had come into her own as the leading gymnast at the Rock. The little powerhouse reminded Payson of Vanessa Atler. "I suppose she did. You've got a good group there."

Sasha nodded, and finally plucked up the courage to raise the elephant in the room. "Payson – it's been almost two months since you've been home. Emily and Kelly are talking about college, Rosa's back in the gym, I know Lauren's been unwell but what are you and Kaylie getting up to these days?" It seemed so unlike Payson not to be busy.

"Well I've been helping Becca out with school, and I guess I'm looking at colleges and overseas trips but I'm not really sure" Payson let herself tail off. She'd been so caught up with Lauren that she'd not considered what she'd do when Sasha eventually found out and let Lauren train at the Rock properly. She was scared to think about it. Gymnastics had always been her entire life, apart from her brief time at high school. "And Kaylie, well she's just spending time with her Mum."

Sasha nodded – there was something that Payson wasn't telling her but he wasn't going to push her. He was quiet for a while, thinking about how to phrase his next question. "Payson, I know that this is a big ask, and I know that in the past you've been reluctant to do this, but I would like to make you an offer to coach at the Rock."

Payson put her spoon on the table and gripped her hands together. If she was honest, she wasn't that surprised by Sasha's offer. But it still made her stomach lurch. Coaching meant that her journey as a gymnast was over. She knew it, of course. Her back permanently ached and her knees jammed up whenever she ran for too long, but coaching meant that it was over. Then all of a sudden tears sprung to her eyes.

Sasha was shocked. At the gym he and Payson were known for their mental toughness, he often forgot that she could break, just like any other person. He pulled out his handkerchief and handed it to her.

Payson took it, managing to smile wryly.

"Surely coaching isn't so awful that it reduces you to tears?" Sasha tried to lighten the mood.

"It's not that at all. You know it isn't. It's just that if I accept your offer – gymnastics is over for me. It's like an abyss. Gymnastics is, _was_, my life, and now I feel like there's nothing left. I know it sounds stupid, there are people all over the world starving or who don't have a loving family, and I have every opportunity open to me."

"It doesn't sound stupid, Payson."

Payson looked at him, he was amazed that she still looked gorgeous even when she cried.

"After Sydney I spent a year doing well, nothing. I felt empty. I'd gone from spending every waking moment preparing for the Olympics and then they were over."

"Then what happened?"

"Mum passed away. And I thought there's no way I'm going to waste my life feeling sorry for myself. So I started coaching. Honestly Pay, I felt alive again for the first time in ages. In a way it was better than competing."

Payson snorted. Nothing could compare to the thrill of competing.

"Seriously, the feeling you get when you have a gymnast who's struggling and then finally lands a new skill, or seeing them work so hard and then doing well in a meet. Or even seeing them overcome failure, and learn to handle it with grace and poise."

Payson smiled. She did love seeing her teammates succeed.

"But the best moment? Seeing a woman with a broken back who'd been beaten time and time again who stepped up to lead her team to team gold."

Payson blushed. "You don't need to flatter me."

"I'm not – the best part was seeing you help each of your teammates achieve her dreams. Do you think Kelly would have ever sacrificed her chance at all around gold if she hadn't seen you help her every day in the gym? Do you think Emily and Kaylie would have been able to have the confidence they did if they hadn't seen you pick yourself up time and time again? You inspired them Payson, I've said it before and I've said it again, you are a leader. Whether you accept that destiny is up to you, but your leadership will always be a part of you, whether or not you choose to use it."

Payson nodded "may I take time to consider this? It's just such a huge change."

"Of course."

XXX

It was ironic really, Payson thought. Sasha saw her coaching potential and had offered her a lucrative position and at the same time she was breaking into his gym and training a gymnast who he refused to train because she was too sick, or fragile, or something.  
"Again, Lauren!" She yelled at her friend who was vaulting. Lauren had worked her way back to a double twisting yurchenko and a Prudonova remarkably quickly, but Payson knew that she was capable of a triple twisting yurchenko and adding another half twist onto her Prudonova. If she had the opportunity to perform these on the world stage they would both be named after her.

Lauren wanted to slap Payson. She'd forgotten the mental toughness that the taller girl was renowned for. She refrained and stretched her neck. She was going to come back and win gold on every freaking apparatus just so Payson would leave her alone. She ran towards the vaulting table faster than she ever had before. She twisted twice in the air but came down hard on her ankle. She tried to keep it straight but it rolled. Pain shot up her leg and she managed to fall as she'd been taught, bracing her body with her knees and hands before rolling onto her side.

"Lauren!" Kaylie and Payson sprinted over to her friend. Kaylie had tears in her eyes and Payson's hands were shaking.

"I'm fine" Lauren grumbled. Her ankle hurt like crazy but suddenly her mood plunged and she had a sudden urge to hide from her successful friends. She was such a failure!

Emily, always calm under pressure came over to the others with an icepack, a blanket, and a cup of hot chocolate. The gym was freezing in January especially since they hadn't thought to turn the heaters on. Payson bit her lip as she and Emily helped their friend over to a bench. Sasha had told her about the amazing parts of coaching – seeing athletes overcoming their obstacles, both physical and mental, seeing medals being awarded. But he'd not told her about this, about the heartbreak and terror of injury. She wondered if it was time that she told Sasha what they'd all been up to. She realised how careless she'd been not having a doctor present. Especially with Lauren being sick.

"It's fine it's probably not even sprained" Lauren lied. She just wanted to get away from everyone, she needed to get back to her room, where she was safe.

Emily raised an eyebrow. "Like hell it is – Lo, it's twice its normal size already!"

Lauren swore. She'd been working so hard! "Why did this have to happen?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

Payson hugged her friend. "You've got time – and think how good your bars will be if you can't train vault or floor for a while."

Lauren glared at her "so not helping, Keeler!"

XXX

Emily and Damon were sprawled out on the futon in Damon's apartment. There were sheets of music everywhere, and stave paper with Damon's compositions. Damon was so old school, he refused to use computer programmes to compose, hence the mess.

"Mustang?"

"Mmm?" Emily was still sleepy from the Lauren debacle the night before.

"I got a call from Derek yesterday."

Emily sat up straight – Derek was Damon's agent, he'd been disgruntled by Damon's move from LA to Boulder two years ago to be with Emily when she made her comeback to gymnastics. Damon had been successful living in Boulder, travelling when needed, but she knew that couldn't last forever. Damon was dynamite. As Derek often said. Emily always rolled her eyes at his attempt at alliteration.

"And what did he say?"

Damon was silent for a couple of seconds. "He wants me to teach for a semester at Julliard, I'd take some classes too."

Emily grinned and punched him in the stomach then kissed him "you are so incredible!"

Damon smiled "but I can't take it"

Emily glared at him "and why not? This is like the Olympics of music."

"James is here, Em, and you're going to Harvard soon – I don't want you to have to take me into consideration."

"Damon! James has Summer, and I know it's hard being away from him. But we gave him up for adoption, and don't you dare worry about me! We've done long distance before and we'll do it again, but I am not going to sit by and let you sacrifice your dream for me. Not after all you've given me. Am I clear?"

Damon laughed in spite of himself, prompting Emily's nostrils to flare with anger.

"What is so funny!?" Emily demanded.

"Nothing, you just sound uncannily like Sasha."

Emily through a couch cushion at him. "Carry on like that and I won't come with you to New York."

Damon smiled "you'll come with me? What about your family, and getting ready for Harvard?"

Emily kissed him "you've given up everything for me, Damon. The least I can do is move with you there until I go to Harvard."

Damon gripped his girlfriend in a tight hug. "I don't know what I did to deserve you."

XXX

Emily invited the girls to a café in town. Spruce Juice was too cold in winter, and besides it had been taken over by the new generation of Rock girls. They didn't want to cramp their style. Lauren's ankle had turned out just to be a light sprain. She had an impressive bruise along the side of her foot and wouldn't be landing the triple twisting yurchenko anytime soon, but Payson was fairly confident she could be back into light training within a week. They sat at a table in the back, by the fireplace. And Emily broke the news to them.

Kelly squealed and hugged the taller girl. "Oh Emily! That's amazing. And I can't wait to visit you in New York." The two girls had become close since they'd both been accepted into Harvard.

Lauren joined the hug. "Think of all the shopping!"

Payson kissed her friend's cheek. "I am so happy for you Em, I'll miss you like crazy though!"

Emily pulled Payson into a tight hug. "Payson, you're the sister I never had. We will always be close no matter where we are in the world."

Payson let two small tears fall. Emily's words touched her deeply. Out of all the Rock Rebels, Emily and Payson were the two that were the most passionate about gymnastics. They had also overcome more than the others, and each of them knew that they couldn't have achieved what they had without the help of the other.

"I love you" Payson whispered.

"You too, Pay. And I'm not going for another two weeks, we've got time."

Payson gave her best friend a watery smile.

Kaylie couldn't believe this was happening. She knew that they wouldn't stay together after the Olympics but now that Emily was leaving, the 'after the Olympics' phase was coming true. And it would only be a matter of months before Kelly left too. She put down her coffee cup and walked out.

Kelly stood up to follow her, but Payson put a gentle hand on the older girl's arm. "I'll go."

Kelly nodded. Despite being younger, Payson was still their captain, even though the Games were over.

Payson found Kaylie sitting on a bench, she was crying. Big rasping sobs shook her body.

"Oh Kaylie!" Payson had hardly seen her friend this upset. "What's wrong?"

"Sorry I know I'm being stupid. I know I should be happy for Emily and Damon but it's just that I feel everything is ending."

Payson wrapped an arm around her friend. She felt the same way. It was different for Kelly and Emily. They were going to amazing things at university, but the thought of studying straight away was too much for Payson. And she knew it was for Kaylie, too.

"You're not being stupid" Payson said quietly. "We've been through everything together and now we're breaking apart. We don't have gymnastics tying us together anymore."

Kaylie nodded "I know, it feels like everything is breaking. And I know it isn't and that the future has a lot in store for us but…"

"It's the end of an era?"

"Yes exactly."

Payson nodded, then she realised something. "You know Kaylie, it's over for me – gymnastics. My body is too broken. And the others are moving on, but you're young and strong and brave." Payson didn't want to tell Kaylie what to do, she was very malleable and didn't want to pressure her but maybe if Payson planted the seed, she'd take it up.

Kaylie smiled at her friend "not as brave as you."

Payson rolled her eyes. "Yes but we all know I'm a robot, remember?" She said, quoting Ellen Beals.

"haha I wonder where the witch is now?"

"Somewhere far, far away I hope. Come on, let's go back inside it's freezing."

XXX

Sasha was exhausted. The twins were giving him grief, they were so unconfident even though they had the ability. It was so hard making an athlete believe in herself. He sighed and left them to work with Darby while he went to spot Rachel on the floor. She had a double Arabian to punch front. It was incredible. She was more powerful even than Lauren had been at her peak. He winced thinking of the blonde girl. He'd been calling Steve Tanner every second day asking if Lauren was well enough to train again, but Steve always said no. And there was no way Sasha was going to override his wishes. But he missed his Olympic team. He shook his head, he needed to focus on the girls he had now. He wanted Rachel to make the American Cup and there was a selection camp in seven weeks. And she wasn't ready yet.

"Good work Penny, just remember to point your toes more on your Arabesque." He heard a familiar voice say behind him.

Sasha waited until Rachel had finished her tumbling pass before running over to the beams. There he saw Payson, decked out in a tracksuit, her hair in a no nonsense French braid.

He picked her up and spun her around, he didn't care how unprofessional he looked. "So you're accepting the offer then?"

She smiled "I can't leave these poor girls with only you and Darby to coach them!" She said.

Sasha rolled his eyes "don't believe her girls" he said to the twins "she looks sweet but she's so tough she'll make me look like a fairy."

Payson raised an eyebrow. A skill she learned from Kelly "a fairy? You're so not going to live this down."

"You know that I miss coaching in Romania, the girls there were so sweet, so obedient."

Payson snorted "uh huh, because the Romanian gymnasts are known for their calm, sweet, docile natures. Though to be fair the only Romanian gymnast I've ever known well stands before me."

Sasha sighed. It was definitely going to be different with Darby and Payson around.

"Speaking of sweet people, in my role as coach, I've found new a new elite."

"What? I told you we weren't taking on new gymnasts for another two weeks!" Sasha said angrily, thinking of all the work he'd done trying to go through the massive pile of applications.

"Trust me – this girl's impressive."

At that the gym's main doors opened to reveal Kaylie, she was wearing her signature pink, her hair was tied back in a bun.

Sasha grinned. He'd never expected this.

"So coach, where do you want me to start?" Kaylie asked happily. Suddenly she felt complete again.

**A/N so this was a bit of a transition chapter. Hope you have a great weekend! As always let me know what you thought! xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: we're a wonderful, wonderful people, so when did we all get so fearful?**

Leo sighed. He knew Doctor Madison was one of the best doctors in the business, but interning as a cosmetic surgeon was, well, pointless. Most of his patients were shallow middle aged women happy with spending their husbands' money. Although he came from a wealthy family, he had spent last summer working in Sierra Leone before he came to watch his sister and her friends at the Olympics. And there, people worked their arses off just to get by, and they were grateful for everything. He had little patience for those who grew up with a sense of entitlement. Whatever their flaws, his parents had taught him to work hard and be grateful for every achievement or opportunity. He also missed his family, and Lauren. He smiled as he thought of the blonde dynamo. She was the most infuriating person he'd met but he couldn't keep his mind off of her.

"There's something wrong, isn't there son?" Dr Madison came and sat beside him. Although he was in his fifties he could have passed for thirty five.

Leo gave a half-hearted smile. "I hope not, sir. I'm just a bit tired, that's all."

"You're not tired, you're a final year medical student. You've been doing 90 hour weeks for the past five years. Here you're only doing fifty. There's no way you can be tired. Come on – tell me what's up."

"It's fine – I just can't find my passion here."

His boss nodded. "I noticed the same thing."

"You want me to leave, don't you?" Leo had never been more embarrassed. He'd never come close to being fired before.

"You're perfectly competent Leo, and you're welcome to stay on – but you're passionate about helping people in trouble and I think if you stay here you'll just become more resentful. Also you talk about your family a lot – do you miss them?"

Leo raised his eyebrows. He didn't realise how closely his supervisor had been watching him. "I think you're right, sir."

"Well then, I've got a friend in Boulder who needs an intern. If you want to stay on you're more than welcome. However I don't want you to be wasting your time. And I honestly cannot see you lasting much longer here. You're passionate and dedicated, Leo. You're lucky in that respect."

Leo grinned "thank you, sir. And I was grateful for the opportunity to work with you."

The older man gripped Leo's shoulder "I'm sure I'll hear great things from you in the future."

Leo smiled. He wasn't so sure. Everyone told him that he was smart and lucky to come from such a wealthy background, and he knew it but sometimes it depressed him how screwed up the world was even if you had everything. He thought of his sister and how she had struggled despite her success. He couldn't even bring himself to think of Lauren. He shook his head. He couldn't think like that. He shook his boss's hand and went to pack up his desk. He couldn't wait to see Lauren and Kaylie.

XXX

Payson was running late. She was normally punctual to a fault, but Becca needed a lift to school because Kim had the flu, and then Becca had insisted they pick up Brian on the way, even though his place wasn't on the way at all. The sooner her kid sister got her licence the better. She parked her car in its designated spot, next to Darby's and walked into the gym.

She smiled at the twins' mother. She was standing beside Penny and Jody, a hand gripped firmly on each twin's shoulder. She glared at Payson then marched her daughters out of the gym. Payson was confused. Maria had always seemed so sweet and supportive of her girls, despite sometimes pushing them a bit too hard. She walked over to Kaylie who was going through her conditioning with Darby. The gym was fairly empty; Kaylie and Rachel were the only gymnasts there that early. The level 10's didn't start for another hour.

"Where's Sasha?" Payson asked Darby as Kaylie practiced her triple twist dismount off the beam again and again. The brunette was getting back into shape quickly, Payson was impressed.

"In his office. You should probably join him."

"Why?"

"Please Payson, I've had enough drama in the past three hours to last me a lifetime."

Payson frowned. Everyone was in a mood today for some reason. Although Darby did look quite pale.

"Right, sorry Darby." She touched the older woman's shoulder gently and went up to Sasha's office.

"What's going on?" Payson asked Sasha quietly.

Sasha looked at the woman who was the love of his life, but who, at the same time, it was impossible for him to date for a thousand different reasons. Then he put his face in his hands. Payson gulped and went to hug him. "What is it Sasha? Is it your Dad, did you fight with Maria. I saw her taking the twins out of the gym."

Sasha returned Payson's hug. "Maria found out about us dating. She confronted my and I told her that we were. She then asked what I was going to do about it. And I said nothing, that I love you and then she said she wasn't going to let her daughters be coached by a paedophile and a slutty teenager, and she walked the girls right out. I imagine she will break the news to the other parents soon."

Payson stood up, picked up Sasha's computer chair, and threw it across the room. "That COW!" She had tears in her eyes. "How _dare_ she treat you like that, after all you've done for her daughters, after you were so amazing to me, Kaylie, Emily, Lauren, and Kelly. You produced the best Olympic gymnastics team the USA has ever seen. I could strangle her! You know what I'm glad she left – she's not worth us. I just feel bad for Jody and Penny."

If the situation had been any less serious, Sasha would have laughed at Payson losing control like she did. She usually kept her emotions under a pretty tight lid. "She's right though." Sasha said quietly.

Payson glared at him. "No she is not. I love you, Sasha. I think I loved you ever since I kissed you all those years ago, maybe even before that. We are both good coaches, and the fact that we happen to be dating doesn't change that."

"I love you too, Payson." Sasha whispered softly, "but that doesn't change the fact that we were wrong in misleading our gymnasts and their parents who entrust them into our care. Our elites see more of us than they do their parents. It also doesn't change the fact that one way or another, your parents are going to find out about this, and the public is also going to find out about this by the end of the week."

Payson almost swore. She'd been avoiding thinking about. She'd been enjoying the past few months with Sasha by fobbing her parents off, saying that she was busy training Lauren whenever she was on a date with Sasha. She sighed she had one huge secret kept from her parents, and another huge secret kept from Sasha. Now she knew how Emily felt. "Ah, that's less than ideal."

"That, Payson is the understatement of the century. How do you want to tell them, we can do it together or alone, but I think it's best they know before the Rock community does, and certainly before the public does. I need to call MJ too, oh dear this day just keeps getting worse."

"I think we should tell them together. Mum respects you like crazy, and I think if you come then she'll appreciate that more."

"And your Dad?"

Payson snorted "Sasha I would strongly recommend you learn how to duck when we tell him. In fact I think it's best we tell Mum and Becca first."

"I agree. Well on the bright side telling your father is going to be a piece of cake compared with the media."

Payson was jittery for the rest of the day. She yelled at one of the level fours who missed her dismount, making the girl cry. Payson felt terrible. She went to hug the younger girl. "I'm sorry Cammie – you did well. Do you think you could try again?"

The girl nodded, dried her eyes and got back on the beam. Gymnastics was a funny sport, Payson thought to herself. It taught incredible mental toughness even at a very young age. Although she wasn't sure it was such a good thing in some ways. It meant that athletes ran the risk of becoming hard, or thinking they were invincible. Something she had been guilty of time and time again, she would have a bad back for the rest of her life, and her knee constantly ached. She and her teammates had achieved incredible things, but at terrible costs. She was distracted from her reverie by someone tapping her on her shoulder. She turned around to see Becca. Her little sister looked puffed.

"Jeez Becca, didn't you ever learn not to distract the coach in training?"

Becca rolled her eyes. "You texted me at lunchtime to come as fast as I could after school, you never text unless it's something urgent so I came. Don't get your undies in a twist at me."

"Sorry" Payson said, feeling like even more of a bitch. She signalled for Darby to take over coaching the level fours on beam and she walked with Becca. "It's probably best we sit outside."

Becca raised an eyebrow. "You're getting more and more mysterious. Tell me what's going on!"

Payson rolled her eyes. Becca was annoying her lately. She'd just turned 17, and was getting prettier by the day. And she knew it. She led her sister to the bench where so many conversations between gymnasts had taken place. "Becca, Sasha and I are dating. We're going to tell Mum and Dad tomorrow night, but I wanted to tell you first, Becca. You've always been on my side when we were growing up. You've always been the voice of reason, I don't know if I've ever told you this but I was always so envious of you when we were growing up."

"What do you mean? How could you possibly envy me? I'm nothing special, just an ordinary girl."

"No, Becca. You kept our family grounded when we moved to Boulder and then when Dad lost his job, when I broke my back, when I had the surgery. You were always there loving us, telling us it would be okay."

Becca had tears in her eyes "Payson, you're the best sister in the world and I am so proud to be related to you. Of course I'll stick up for you tonight. And it's kind of weird that you're dating Sasha, but I guess it makes sense. You're both the most infuriatingly intense people I've met and I don't know that either of you would ever find another person who you wouldn't drive crazy!"

"Thanks, Becca." Payson said sarcastically.

"It's true. You're both nuts, but I love you both." She hugged her older sister for a long time. "It will be hard for them to take, they still see us as kids, but gymnastics made us grow up faster than most people our age, especially you. I think in time they'll understand."

"You're the best sister in the world, even if I wasn't related to you I'd still consider you one of my best friends." Payson said kissing Becca on the cheek. Becca hugged her sister more tightly.

"I love you, Pay."

XXX

Payson and Sasha pulled up to the Keelers' house; Sasha had decided to wear a black jacket, jeans and a smart top. He wasn't into suits as a general rule and he didn't want to scare Kim. Payson was just in jeans and a nice top.

"Hi guys" Kim said brightly "it's great to see you, Sasha. Payson is really enjoying coaching."

Payson smiled tightly. "Ma – can we talk to you about something?"

"That never starts out well." Kim sighed "come into the rec room" Becca, Payson, and Sasha followed her. The room was comfortable, with big squishy couches. Payson had spent many an afternoon icing injuries in front of the fireplace here. Kim sat down on one couch with Becca while Payson and Sasha took the other. Payson gripped Sasha's hand without thinking.

"Mum – Sasha and I have decided to date."

Kim was silent for a couple of seconds. Part of her was shocked, Payson hadn't mentioned anything about finding a boyfriend after the Olympics, part of her was sad and scared – her daughter was not even twenty yet, she should be thinking about college and her career. While Sasha was a man, he surely wanted different things from life. But a big part of her wasn't surprised at all. Her daughter and her coach had always had a strong connection, stronger perhaps than was appropriate. And Payson might be young in years but she had the wisdom and experience of someone much older. She stood up and hugged her daughter, and then Sasha.

"You've made a choice Payson. It will have consequences – hard ones. Your reputation will be harmed. But I know you're a good man Sasha. And I know you've always loved Payson. I want to support you both, but if you hurt her Sasha so help me I will skin you alive."

Sasha nodded. "Thank you, Kim. I will protect Payson as much as I can."

Kim snorted "don't thank me, yet. I presume you are also planning on telling Mark tonight. He won't be so happy."

"What won't I be happy about?" Mark asked suspiciously, making Kim jump out of her skin. He took his tie off and undid his top shirt button.

Sasha stood up. "Mark, this is hard to say."

Payson stood next to him and put a gentle hand on his arm. "Daddy, Sasha and I are dating."

Mark rubbed his lips together, something he did whenever he was grappling with his emotions. Then he whipped out his fist and punched Sasha in the face. Sasha didn't even try to defend himself.

"I deserved that, Mark." He said quietly.

"Yes, you did. You failed to protect her before she broke her back, even though she was in pain, then you broke her heart leaving for Romania. Then she almost got seriously injured at nationals again."

"Daddy that's not fair! I hid my pain from everyone, and I _chose_ those extra training sessions last year. I would have been in the gym whether Sasha was there or not. And I would never have even returned to gymnastics if he hadn't found that doctor, and inspired me to be an artistic gymnast and then trained me so hard to get to the Games. You are just mad because he's older than me. Can't you see – I'm nothing without him!" She stormed out of the room.

"She never had such a big temper till you came on the scene either." Mark said dryly.

Sasha raised an eyebrow "well temperament is mostly determined by genes, and she's not the only one in the family with a temper."

Becca laughed and Mark glared at her. "Okay I'm going" the youngest Keeler said, leaving the room to find her sister.

Mark sat and motioned for Sasha to do the same. Kim sat beside Mark and held his hand. "I suppose you're going to tell me that you love Payson."

"You know I do."

Mark nodded "that almost makes me feel worse. And I know she feels so strongly about you as well. I'm just worried that she's going to throw away certain opportunities because she wants to be with you. She's smart, Sasha. Not as smart as Emily or Kelly but she's got a good brain, and a big heart."

"I know, and she's also a born leader. Payson is one in a million. And this coaching, Mark, it doesn't have to be long term. It's only for now while she sorts out what she wants to do at college, but she's tired, Mark."

"Of course she's tired, training all day and then at night."

"What do you mean at night? Our elites only go till six pm then she comes home."

Mark frowned "but she coaches Lauren at night, you know till she's ready to join in with the other elites."

Sasha raised an eyebrow. "I presume you mean Lauren Tanner?" He was going to kill Payson! Steve had made it quite clear that Lauren wasn't ready to start training again!

"Of course. Anyway I guess I will tolerate you for the moment, but I swear if you hurt her Belov I will make your life a living hell."

Sasha nodded. Right now this conversation with the Keelers seemed trivial to what Mark had just told him. He couldn't believe Payson had gone behind his back about Lauren! He rued the day he ever encouraged his gymnasts to go rogue.

XXX

Lauren's ankle hurt like hell. She hobbled to her ensuite bathroom. It wasn't broken, she was pretty sure, but it was sprained pretty badly. But what was worse was that she felt. The pain in her ankle reminded her of all her injuries, and especially they made her remember her botched beam dismount at the Olympic Trials. She kept going through the mistake again and again in her brain. She hobbled back to her bed and pulled out a book that Kelly had given her called 'Looking for Alibrandi' it was easy to read, which was nice because her concentration levels were still screwed up.

"Honey?" Steve poked his head into her room "I'm just heading out to work. Please don't exercise too hard today." Steve could see Lauren getting fitter; he assumed that she was just going running more often. As a litigator he often worked late nights and Lauren was normally back from training well before he was back from work.

"Ok Daddy"

Her father came and kissed her on her forehead and then left. Lauren was swallowed in loneliness. The training had kept her busy and now that she had to rest her ankle for a couple of days and tone down the training she felt empty. She turned on her phone. There were a couple of texts from Payson urging Lauren to call her straight away. Lauren didn't feel up to answering them. Then there was a call from Leo, and a text. She was about to reply when there was a knock on the front door. She heard the maid answer, and then heard footsteps coming towards her room. There was a gentle knock on her door. It opened to reveal Leo.

Lauren smiled at him. "What are you doing here?"

Leo raised an eyebrow "I was expecting a _slightly_ warmer welcome."

Lauren grinned "sorry, she hobbled over to him and kissed him."

He kissed her back, passionately. She was looking better than immediately after the Olympics but there were still bags under her eyes and she was paler than she'd ever been. Then he saw her ankle that was swollen. He picked up her hands; they had blisters that could only be caused by the uneven bars. "I thought Sasha and Steve weren't letting you train yet. And your ankle looks bad Lo."

Lauren looked down.

"Lauren, what's going on?"

Lauren looked at him for a long time. "We've been training at night. Sasha and Daddy don't know."

Leo wanted to swear and scream. He'd seen his darling baby sister almost die from over training, her best friend had broken her back doing the same thing, and now this incredibly strong woman was doing exactly the same thing. When would they learn? This had been one of the reasons why he'd never pursued any sport to the top level. It required sacrifice, and for every one champion that overcame adversity, there were five others with equal talent who ruined their lives from sacrificing too much. "Who's 'we', Lo?"

Lauren sighed. She really hoped Payson was feeling strong tomorrow because she knew that Leo would tell. He was to responsible not to. She both loved him and hated him for it. "Payson, Kaylie, Emily and I."

"Please don't be mad."

Leo laughed "you sound just like Kaylie. You don't get it do you Lauren. I love you. I don't know why, you're such an obstinate cow but I can't help it."

"Oh so classy, that's so flattering, having my boyfriend love me because he can't help it and doesn't think he should. Well screw you Leo. Go off with some pretty, smart, personable med student and leave this fucked up failure alone then!" She turned around so that he wouldn't see her tears.

Leo gently touched her shoulder "I didn't mean it like that."

"Maybe not but it's true isn't it? I'm the least likely person a brilliant person like you would date."

"We're not so different you and I, Lauren. We've both lived in others' shadows for a long time." They both knew he was referring to Kaylie. "I care about you, Lo. And I'm angry because I don't want to see you hurt. I don't care if you do well in gymnastics or go to an amazing college. All I care about is that you're both healthy and happy. I love you for you, every last cranky, bitchy, catty part of you. Because I know that underneath that is the bravest person I know."

Lauren turned to face him "I don't deserve you. You try to protect me and I lash out at you."

Leo hugged her tightly. "I love that you don't want to be protected and that you want to fight. That's what makes you so strong and incredible."

"And I love you for being the only person who wants to protect me. I haven't had that for the longest time." Not since her mother was healthy.

They stood hugging each other for a long time. "So shall we watch a movie?"

"As long as it's a soppy chick flick."

Leo rolled his eyes "must you torture me?"

"Oi I'm depressed! You have to give me what I want."

"Like you'd let it be any other way regardless of whether or not you were depressed."

Lauren hit him.

"Ouch! I can tell you've been conditioning hard!"

"Sook!"

XXX

Payson was not looking forward to going to the Rock in the morning. She'd overheard Mark telling Sasha about Lauren. She was pretty certain that Mark had told Sasha just to get one over her. She didn't blame him, he was pretty shaken up by her latest relationship, and he disapproved of her training Lauren after hours anyway. The rest of the evening around the dinner table had been icily civil. She was glad that Sasha had declined to stay afterwards for a cup of tea. After he left Payson did the dishes then went to bed early. She didn't want to talk about anything for the moment. She'd just dropped a bombshell on her parents, and on Sasha, when she should have told them all earlier. She also had the terrible guilt that she was responsible for Lauren's injury. To top it all off, Sasha wanted to plan what they were going to say to the press and to the Rock family after practice. She sighed and almost wished she was back in training. As hard as those days were, she was just a child, not responsible for the politics of the elite scene.

As she walked into the gym she saw Kaylie. The shorter girl was in a pale pink training leotard and looked toned. Payson was happy that she was coming back to training with such a vengeance. Kaylie put a hand on Payson's shoulder "good luck" she whispered. Payson raised an eyebrow. "Trust me, you'll need it" Kaylie said before walking over to join Rosa by the beams.

Payson went into the locker room to drop her stuff off. Sasha and Leo were waiting for her. She grimaced. "Hi guys." She tried to be cheerful.

"Cut the crap, Payson." Leo said quietly.

Payson nodded "I presume this is about Lauren."

"And more" Sasha said "it's about you being reckless towards your responsibilities as a coach, I'm disgusted, especially since you know how sick Lauren is and how close the two of you are."

"Sasha I'm sorry, do you think I don't regret not having a doctor present when we were training. Do you think I don't regret training her as hard and fast as I did? I was a bit uncertain about having her do the double twisting Yurchenko so early on but in all fairness, Sasha you've been wrong before about how ready we are. You held both Emily and Kaylie back when they were ready to train. And Lauren was mentally ready. She's a fighter Sasha, you know that better than anyone."

Sasha sighed, then realised something Payson said "wait, she injured herself doing a DTY?"

"Yeah – I know it was too big of a risk, but you know how powerful she is on vault. She's the national champion on that event."

"You mean that you coached her from nothing to a double twisting Yurchenko in three months. Payson that's incredible."

Leo cleared his throat "not what we came here to discuss Sasha."

"Right, sorry. Payson you should not have gone behind my back like this."

"Sasha I'm sorry that Lauren got injured and that I was reckless towards her safety but I'm not sorry that we started training."

Sasha nodded. "I accept your apology. And I want to invite Lauren to train at the Rock, _properly_, if Lauren can land a DTY after 3 months she's more talented than I thought. And I won't have her safety risked again. But she's not to get injured again, physically or mentally, am I clear?"

Payson grinned and hugged him "crystal."

XXX

Emily zipped her suitcase shut.

"I'm going to miss you, Em." Brian said softly.

Emily went to hug her brother. "Not as much as I'll miss you, Brian. It's not going to be the same not having you to keep me grounded. Look after Mum, and Summer, and James. Especially James."

"Of course Emily."

Summer honked her horn from the driveway, Emily looked at her watch and swore. She was late, as always. She hugged her brother tightly. "I wish you could come to the airport." She said softly.

"I can't miss debating, it's our final."

"I know, I'm just being selfish."

"Skype me?"

"Every week." She kissed him on the cheek, blinking back tears then got into the car with Chloe, Damon and James. Chloe had tactfully decided to sit in the front so that Emily and Damon could sit in the back with James. Emily stroked her son's dark hair quietly, while Damon read him a story. Emily yearned for the life they could have had. But then she thought of her three Olympic medals and Damon's new opportunity. She also saw how happy Summer was. Sometimes amazing things could come from the darkest places.

Emily and Summer hugged for a long time. "I just want you to know, that I couldn't have asked for a better mother for James." Emily said softly.

"It's been an honour, Emily. I feel so humbled that you let me be his mother." The two women cried and hugged each other.

Damon hugged his son tightly. Emily looked on, her heart melting. James looked like a miniature Damon; he had the same soulful eyes and brown hair. She hugged Chloe tightly, it felt weird – she would probably never live in Boulder again, never help her mother stitch up old clothes, never have to remind her to pay the bills, never have her mother to braid her hair. She treasured the hug, pressing it into her memory.

Finally Emily knelt in front of James. Her son was two years old. That thought was mind boggling. She didn't want to think of all the things she'd missed, of all the milestones she'd never see. It was too painful. "I love you James Damon van Horn, I want you to remember that. She hugged and kissed him. Then she stood up and took Damon's hand and walked towards the departure lounge.

"They'll always be a part of us."

Emily lent into Damon's shoulder "I know." She turned and waved at the three figures who were waving back frantically. The two women each holding a hand of the little boy.

**A/N sorry this is up a bit late. Please let me know what you thought! And thank you all for you lovely reviews **** and please let me know if you have anything or anyone you want to see in this story! Have a great weekend!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: What makes you different makes you beautiful**

Embers were so pretty, Lauren thought to herself as she stoked the fire absent mindedly. The old log burner was out of place with the rest of the house's fancy furnishings, but her mother had always loved it. And that was why, Lauren suspected, her father insisted it stay. She huddled with a blanket around herself, mesmerised by the flames. Leo came and sat beside her, he put his arm around her and Lauren leant into him. He rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Have I thanked you for coming back to Boulder?"

"No" he squeezed her hand.

"Well, thank you."

"I don't work without you, Lo. I've got no idea why I fell for a five foot blonde ball of adrenaline who has an addiction to chick flicks and Danielle Steel, but it's been the best decision my heart's ever made."

Lauren raised an eyebrow, looking uncannily like Sasha. "You did not just insult Danielle Steel, have you ever read any of her books."

Leo scoffed. "I am _way_ too busy to read for pleasure, and if I did it would not be chick lit."

Lauren stood up and stormed out.

"Lo? What the hell." He got up and followed her. He realised he was going to her library, which was attached to her bedroom. She returned with a pile of books in her hands.

"Your homework Mr Cruz, read these books."

"You want me to read these? Are you serious?"

"You made me read Game of Thrones, you read Danielle Steel."

Leo groaned. Why couldn't he have fallen in love with a bimbo who hated to read?

"Keep making that face and I won't cook the waffles I was going to make you!"

Leo kissed her.

XXX

Brian yawned and went into his mother's room. Since Emily had moved to New York he'd shouldered most of the responsibility of making sure Chloe was organised, which was a full time job in itself really. At least with the trust fund Emily had set up they had the house; and they no longer had to worry about the bills being paid. He was so lucky that he had a sister talented enough to be a professional athlete but at the same time smart enough to get a full scholarship to college.

"Ma?" said Brian gently, "it's time to get up, oh you're up!" He said, surprised. Chloe was sitting at her desk.

"Hi Son" she quickly put the letter she was reading into her desk drawer. "I'll be down in a minute."

Brian smiled "awesome, I'm making poached eggs." Brian found it odd that Chloe was up so early.

Chloe joined him in the dining room, she was dressed in a blue dress with a matching headband. She looked all of seventeen.

"You look nice today."

Chloe blushed.

"Meeting someone?" Now Brian was really suspicious. Was his mother going on a date?

"Haha, I wish, no sweetie. The boss is just coming in today. Now could you pass the orange juice?"

XXX

"So how do you think your announcement will impact on the sport of gymnastics, and the ability for parents to trust coaches with their daughters?"

It took all of Payson's self-control not to slap the reporter. Smug cow, clearly single she thought to herself.

"Payson and I did not start dating until she retired from gymnastics. Before that she was solely my gymnast. I would never put her safety at risk, in any way at all."

"What about her injury at 2009 nationals and then again her injury at the 2012 nationals?"

MJ stood up "thank you, Camille. This interview is now over." She abruptly stood up and ushered the journalist out. It was a tacky way to end the interview, and no doubt it would take her boss hours of schmoozing to get them back on good terms with that station but she didn't care. She could tell that Sasha was about to explode. And when Sasha exploded it wasn't pretty.

"Sorry about that love" Sasha said when they were alone in the car after the interview.

"It's not your fault. And besides, it kind of feels good to have this out in the open you know. No more hiding, and if people don't like us they can lump it. Rachel's going to ace it at the American Cup, and we've got Lauren and Kaylie back, not to mention Zara." The first year senior had recently transferred to the Rock, and she had the best lines of any athlete this quad, in Sasha's opinion. The Rock team was dynamite.

Sasha chuckled "this is true." He pulled the rental car over. "This is where Emily is?"

"Yes, thanks for the ride. See you at the airport."

Payson was glad to have done the interview tour. It had been embarrassing but she'd got to spend time with Sasha and now they were in New York. So she could see Emily. She missed her friend.

Seconds after she'd knocked on the door it swung open and she was wrapped in one of Emily's famous bear hugs.

"It's so good to see you!"

Payson followed her through to the longue. Typical of both Emily and Damon it was messy. CDs littered the floor, and the chair that was clearly Emily's had a pile of books next to it, along with her writing notebook and several cups.

"You've still got your cup collection I see." Payson teased.

"You know how lazy I am. I can never be bothered to wash them. I was up to seven cups yesterday. I think I need professional help."

"Well admitting it is the first step to recovery. How does Damon cope with hardly having any cups due to living with the cup monster?"

Emily sighed. "To be honest, he's not around all that much. I miss gymnastics Payson. Until now I've always had a goal to work towards, and now. I've got lots of free time. You know I thought I'd love that. But it sucks. I feel like a freaking housewife who doesn't do housework."

Payson hugged Emily. "You are incredible Emily. It's totally normal to feel empty after everything you work for has ended."

"The fact it's normal doesn't make it fun."

Payson sighed "no it doesn't. It's so weird to think we'll never train for the Olympics again. No more aiming for those five rings."

"Yeah, it's like a part of me has died. I know that sounds melodramatic, but there hasn't been a time in my life when pushing for London was in the back of my mind. It must have been how you felt after you hurt your back."

"Yes, but a thousand times worse. I could hardly look Kaylie in the eye for months, and I just wanted to cry all the time."

"How did you get through it?"

"I finally learned there was more to life than gymnastics, I did some photography and helped organise the prom."

Emily smiled "you did such a good job. Damon almost sang out loud in public. He's come so far."

"You both have" Payson gave her best friend a quick hug "you'll figure out what you're meant to do soon Em, and before you know it you'll be acing all your classes at Harvard and won't have time to think of your thick friends back home."

Emily laughed "you are many things but thick is not one of them. Come on – Full House reruns? I bought all the seasons. It's so addictive."

Payson and Emily sat on Emily's couch watching DJ and Stephanie Tanner fight over who got a piece of cake, and Payson was once again hit by the feeling of nostalgia that came so often nowadays. She loved coaching and she loved Sasha but Emily and Kelly were going to be starting a new phase of their lives, Lauren and Kaylie were back on the gym and she wasn't sure where her life was going. It was such a foreign concept to her. After a few hours of bumming in front of the TV and eating carrot and celery sticks Payson looked at her watch. "Crap I'm going to be late." She gave Emily a quick hug and went to catch a taxi.

Emily cleaned up the lounge. She looked at her watch. Damon was working late again. She sighed. She hardly ever saw him anymore. She finally appreciated what it must have been like for him when she was in her intense training. She quickly whipped up some pumpkin soup and garlic bread. When it became clear Damon wouldn't be home for dinner she ate hers and then decided to take Payson's advice. She went on the internet and looked up running groups. If she couldn't be a gymnast anymore, she was going to try running. She'd always been fast, her lean frame and long legs meant she was swift, and she loved the feeling of running, so fast that no one could catch her.

XXX

"Hi sweetie, how was school?" Darby asked her daughter. Wednesday was the day that the elites only trained in the mornings so she could be home when Jenna got in from school.

"Fine" Jenna said softly.

"Would you like some pears?" Jenna loved fruit.

"No thank you, I've got homework."

"Ok sure honey." Darby was worried about her daughter. She'd just started coming out of her shell but a few weeks ago she'd become withdrawn again.

She went upstairs to get her jersey and she heard a sound coming from Jenna's room. She pressed her ear to the door, her kid was sobbing! She swore under her breath. She knew how to deal with tears of her gymnasts, but it was so much different when it was your own daughter. At a loss for what to do she rang the only person who could help.  
"Margi, it's Darby."

"Hi sugar, how are things going?"

"Um they're ok."

"Just ok?"

"Well…it's Jenna. I've done something."

"What?"

"I don't know, she seemed so happy a few weeks ago but lately she's been really quiet and now she's in her room crying and I don't know what to do. She's such a private girl, I don't know if she'd want me to go in there or not."

"Oh honey. I highly doubt it's something you've done. And I know Jenna's a private and shy wee thing, but she loves you, she would never have gone to live with you if she didn't trust you. I think she would want you to go in. Just give her a hug – don't press her into opening up, just hold her. If she wants to talk she will. But I also think you should give her teacher a ring, just to check everything's okay with school."

"Thanks, Margi."

"Good luck sweet heart and give Jen my love."

Darby hung up her phone and knocked on her daughter's door.

"Come in."

Darby opened the door into the light blue room with emerald green curtains and matching bedspread. Jenna's tastes were so different to what Darby's had been as a child. She could hardly believe how she had produced a daughter with such a different personality to hers. She came and put an arm around the crying girl. Jenna lent her head on Darby's shoulder. "Your grandma was an amazing woman Jenna, have I told her about her?"

"Not much."

"She raised your uncle and I all by herself, and do you know she had a lot of rules, but she had one rule that was really important."

"What rule was that Ma?"

"That it was okay to cry but that it wasn't okay to cry alone, and to let others help you when things went wrong, because family is always there for each other, even when things are hard."

"My foster Mum never said that, she said crying was wrong."

"Oh Jenna, never feel that you have to hide your tears from me. Crying doesn't mean you're not brave. It doesn't mean you're weak or silly. It means that you've been too strong for too long."

Jenna hugged Darby tightly. "I just wish that I could make friends – why don't people like me Mummy?"

Darby felt like a knife was piercing her heart at her daughter's words. "Anyone who doesn't like you isn't worth your friendship. You are beautiful and brave and strong. If they don't like you because you are a bit different and a bit shy, then that is their loss."

Jenna looked doubtful but she bit her lip and nodded. "Are there any pears left?" she asked hopefully.

Darby chuckled, "that's my girl, whenever you're down have sugar."

Jenna giggled "don't let Sasha hear you say that!"

Darby pinched her daughter's cheek and went downstairs.

XXX

Emily groaned. Why did the sun insist on rising every morning and interrupting her sleep? It was so rude. She was contemplating getting new blackout curtains but she was going to moving out of the apartment in six weeks. She turned over and to her surprise Damon was already up. That was weird normally he liked his sleep even more than she did. She looked at her phone and saw a text _"sorry Em I can't make it home tonight, recording late – see you tonight"_. Emily groaned. She knew Damon was busy but she had left her son and her family to be with him, and she didn't want to feel selfish, but it would be nice if he came home more often. Or at least called her instead of just sending stupid texts. She got up had breakfast and brushed her teeth. Then she got into her running gear and tracksuit to find the Manhattan Harriers Club.

When she got there she saw a bunch of about 12 people, all lean and wiry. There were four men in their forties, two children who looked about fourteen, three women she thought were in their mid-twenties, a lady who looked about sixty, and two men in their early twenties. One of them walked over to her. "Emily Kmetko? I'm Robin Michaels."

"That's me."

"It's so great to have you here. Brady has been dying to meet you." He said indicating to the teenage girl in the group. "So, know much about running?"

Emily laughed "how about I show you. Try and keep up."

"Oh is that a challenge?"

"It might be." Emily started running up the track. "What's the matter? Worried about being beaten by a girl?"

"You wish, I just wanted to give you a head start so as not to hurt your feelings but with an ego like that I see that won't be a problem, he ran to join her."

Emily grinned, the wind rushing through her hair, with Robin at her side, the others following behind them. This was better, she was home. It wasn't gymnastics, but it sure bet sitting at home moping.

XXX

"Isn't your Mum normally home by now?" Becca asked Brian. They were playing chess, having finished their homework. Becca loved hanging with Brian, he was so much more relaxed than all her other friends. Happy to just sit there in silence if that was what was needed. And he didn't rabbit on about clothes or movies. He was what her mother called an old soul. And she had never in a million years expected that she'd enjoy chess but it was actually fun. She loved the way Brian teasingly coached her, enough to make her competitive but not enough to make her feel stupid. And he didn't let her win either. Which was nice.

"Yeah I guess. She's been working late a lot I guess."

"Really? That's weird the hair salon seems to close at the same time."

"It's weird. Last week she was up early and writing a letter and then I came in and she acted all evasive. She made up some excuse which was blatantly a lie."

A mischievous grin grew on Becca's face. "You know what would be totally dope of us – we should see what she was writing!"

Brian scowled. "No Becca that wouldn't be _totally dope of us_. How would you like it if someone went through your stuff? We're not six."

Becca scowled. She hated feeling immature and petty, especially around Brian who was so grown up. "Whatever, it was just a suggestion. No need to get in a mood."

"I'm not _in a mood_. I'm just annoyed that you'd think of snooping like a little kid. I thought you were different to the other kids but you're just like them. Immature." He said the last word with a taste of disgust. And Becca felt like he'd slapped her.

"Well if you feel that way maybe I should leave."

"Becca wait, I'm sorry. You're special and clever and one of my best friends." He wanted to add something else to that sentence too, but he was terrified she'd reject him. The three words that were the hardest to say.

Becca gave a sad smile "I'm sorry too, but I should go. I've got a test tomorrow." She touched his shoulder lightly.

"I'll show you out." Brian said sadly. He hated it when they fought.

"Hi honey" Chloe breezed in a couple of hours later.

"Mum, where were you? It's almost nine."

Chloe paused. "I was working late sweetie." She kissed him on the cheek.

"But the salon still closes at five."

"Well there was a lot of cleaning up, and Sandy wanted to go over the accounts."

"Mum, only a madman would let you near anyone's accounts, and then only if they were drunk."

Chloe laughed to cover up her hurt. She loved her kids more than life but sometimes she wished they'd respect her a bit more. "Charming as always. Listen I'm off to bed, sleep well."

Brian kissed her on the cheek. Becca's idea suddenly sounded pretty appealing.

XXX

Kaylie turned to smile at Austin. She'd been waiting for the past night for a long time. She'd always dreamed of waking up next to him. And now here he was, in her bed.

"Morning princess." Austin whispered, kissing her softly.

"That was the best night of my life" Kaylie whispered, two tears falling down her pretty cheeks.

"And we'll have many more." Austin kissed her again and Kaylie thought she'd explode from happiness.

"Kaylie sweetie? Are you still in bed? You need to get up, you've got practice today."

Kaylie and Austin looked at each other "crap! We overslept. Get in the wardrobe! Go!" Kaylie kicked Austin out of bed.

"Ow!" Austin rubbed his stomach, there were some downsides to dating a woman who was an elite gymnast. He hobbled over to the wardrobe.

"Oh stop being such a drama queen, you're an Olympic gymnast for crying out loud!"

"Yeah well so are you! That hurt."

"Kaylie – is everything ok in there?"

"Fine Mum, I'm just getting dressed listening to the radio. I'll be down in a minute."

XXX

Darby was tired. She'd been pulling long hours going through the applications of gymnasts. So far Sasha had added ten gymnasts to his team. Eight were under ten but there were two new girls who were going to the American Classic in a couple of months to try qualify for elite. And that meant extra training. Also in the past couple of weeks Jenna had been insisting that Darby help her with her homework. Which was fine except Darby had always hated school, and it was even harder to focus on someone else's work. It was weird because Jenna didn't need the help. She was doing well, Darby suspected that Jenna just wanted to spend time with her. Which was sweet but kind of annoying. Then Darby cringed, she felt so selfish. This motherhood business was far harder than she'd dreamed it would be. She had an idea though. Today she was going to take Jenna to the Rock Saturday practice. Jenna loved gymnastics. Darby had been reluctant to let her try it seriously, at least while she was still settling into Boulder. But she'd had such a rough time at school recently that Darby wanted her to have something nice.

Sasha was amazed. Lauren had just done a Yurchenko 1.5 on the vault! She'd only been back training vault after her ankle sprain for three weeks.

"Again Tanner" he said, hiding his excitement. He wanted to make sure it wasn't a fluke. Lauren did as she was told. Her entry was perfect, her landing stuck. Her legs glued together right through the flight. It was amazing.

"Well?" Lauren asked.

"It was…bloody incredible. Can you try the double?"

"Yep" Lauren easily added another half twist. This new Lauren was incredible.

"Well done Tanner, take five then we'll move to bars."

Lauren nodded. Sasha turned his back and went to walk over to the beam where his two new seniors were. But something caught his eye. He turned back to the vault. He saw a familiar looking girl do a double twisting Yurchenko. He ran over to the vault. Caught between excitement about how good the vault was an absolute terror that there was a girl he'd never seen before doing an incredibly difficult vault with no one watching. Then he realised the girl was Jenna. Darby's girl.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Darby ran over to Jenna, holding her in a bear hug, then checking her up and down to make sure she was ok.

Tears welled up in the girl's eyes, Sasha walked over intrigued.

"Sorry Mummy I didn't know it was wrong."

"How did you know how to do that? Who taught you?"

"No one."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not…I promise" the tears that Jenna was trying to hold back finally spilled over. "I just watched Lauren and copied what she did. It was the same vault Emily did, and some of those others in London wasn't it?"

"Yes…but how did you know what to do?"

"I just remembered what they did and then visualised it and then I just did it. I didn't know it was wrong."

"Oh honey it wasn't wrong. It's just that the vault you just did normally takes people years to learn. Until about five years ago it was the vault that the top elites did. The fact you managed to pull it off is impressive, but promise me you won't go trying skills like that without someone watching you."

"I promise."

"Good, now can you play on the trampoline for a bit?"

Jenna nodded and walked away.

Darby walked over to Sasha. She was shaking. Impulsively Sasha hugged her tightly. "She's ok. Nothing happened."

"I know, but what if something did?"

"It didn't, you can if yourself to death Darby, I'd advise against it."

Darby nodded. "What did you think?"

"Honestly? That was bloody amazing. She's got natural talent Darby, you can't deny it. And you said she was having a rough time at school? Maybe this is what she needs to boost her confidence."

Darby shook her head "no I don't want to put her on the elite track."

"Why not, she's got the talent, and from what I've seen she's quite focused. She seems coachable."

"It's not that, Sasha, it's just that she's been around Olympic champions for so long and she's such a hard worker at school. I just don't want to get her hopes up, and then get crushed. And I can see her working herself into the ground."

It was Sasha's turn to sigh this time. "Oh Darby. Did you see that vault? Look at her now."

Jenna was doing perfect saltos over the trampoline. She had a grin on her face that Darby hadn't seen since she was in London. "She looks happy."

"Yes she does. Just give her a chance at least?"

Darby nodded "fine, but if she gets overworked or even seems disillusioned you're not to bully her into her continuing, am I clear?"

Sasha chuckled "thanks Darby, you've made an old man very happy. And a young girl very happy too."

Darby rolled her eyes. Everyone at the Rock was insane. Every single person.

**A/N I am SO SO SORRY that this is so late. I've been buried in assignments and exams! But I am now free (yay!) so hopefully updates will come sooner. Thanks for bearing with me and please let me know what you thought! Have a good weekend y'all **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Of families, friendships, and foes**

Brian sat at the dining room table. He was eating alone for the fourth night in a row. He ate his brussel sprouts slowly, hoping that Chloe would be back soon. He hadn't anticipated how much he would miss his sister. She often practiced late but Emily always made a point to sit and chat to him after practice no matter how tired she was. And apart from Chloe, all Emily and Brian had were each other, really. They both had to grow up far quicker than the majority of their peers. And now Emily was gone and Chloe was hiding something from him. He hated being treated like a child.

Finally he heard his mother come through the front door.

"Hi Sweetie" Chloe kissed the top of Brian's head as she slipped off her stilettos. Brian detested being called sweetie.

"Your dinner's in the warming drawer" Brian muttered tersely.

"Thanks hun." Chloe half walked, half limped to the kitchen and Brian instantly felt guilty.

"I'll get it. You sit down and relax." Brian went after his Mum.

"It's ok son, thank you for cooking again."

"You're welcome. What kept you so long?" Brian tried to sound casual but didn't entirely succeed in keeping the hint of suspicion out of his voice.

"Oh you know, just work."

Brian was not convinced, but he didn't push it. Emily would have, but Brian had more patience for Chloe than Emily did. But maybe Becca was right, maybe he should investigate. It wasn't like Chloe was being honest with him.

The next day was Saturday, Brian had the day of school, but Chloe worked on Saturdays. He waited till his Mum had left and then snuck into her room, feeling incredibly guilty. Chloe's room was messy and her desk was no exception. Brian smiled, Emily was the same. He was the only tidy one in the family. On one corner of her desk there was a stack of letters placed haphazardly on top of each other. Chloe had ripped the envelopes open vigorously, tearing most of them almost in half down the front. She'd either been in a hurry or angry when she'd opened them. Brian kept looking over his shoulder, worried that Chloe would return unexpectedly from work. Slowly he picked up the letter at the bottom of the pile and began to read.

_Dearest C_

_You haven't been replying to my emails, and I know you've a thousand reasons not to. But I can't stay away any longer. I can't. I've missed so much, too much. Please at least reply._

_Yours, always,_

_M_

Brian frowned. So it seemed to be an old ex. Or some long lost family member. But an ex seemed more likely. The letter was verging on romantic. But it was weird, Chloe was usually pretty open about her relationships to Emily and Brian. And he couldn't remember any ex's with the initial M. Although there probably had been. Feeling as guilty as Judas he picked up the next letter.

_C_

_Thank you so much for replying. I'd almost given up hope. I promise I don't have poor motives. I don't want money, you must know me better than that. Can we meet, please? And I'll explain everything in person._

_M_

That was weird, thought Brian that this 'M' was going to the effort of sending such a short letter instead of sending an email, or even a text. He picked up the next letter. He'd gone past the point of no return now, and he wanted to know if Chloe had ever met up with this guy. Given her erratic behaviour he was willing to be that she had.

_C_

_Thank you for meeting. It means the world that you came. You chose a good café; I've never been there before. I know the timing seems suspicious, but I don't want to cash in on Em's success. Please know I've done a lot of stupid stuff but I would never take advantage of her like that! Don't you remember how much I tried to help. _

_Please Chloe, I have done many things that I am ashamed of. But you've always been one for second, third, and even fourth chances. I know I can't fix the past. I'm not trying to say that at all, but maybe we can have some sort of future. All of us. Together._

_I've always loved you Chlo'_

_Marcus._

Brian's hands were trembling. He fumbled the letter clumsily back into the envelope. This was not what he was expecting. This was huge. He couldn't bring himself to read the rest of the letters from Marcus. There was only one Marcus whom his mother had dated. Only one who would send letters like this. Marcus was the reason Emily refused anyone else to call her 'Em'. Only Marcus was allowed to do that. Marcus was the twenty year old who had been in a car crash 17 years ago. He was the man who had been driving in the car crash that had left Brian paralysed at the age of eight months. He was the man who, wracked with guilt had left his family three months later despite his daughter pleading for him to stay. Marcy was the only person who his sister hated, the person who had broken Chloe's heart. Marcus MacDonald was his father and now he wanted to come back into their lives.

XXX

Emily yawned and turned on her side before waking up. She smiled, Damon was in the bed next to her.

"Hey babe" she whispered.

"Mustang" Damon whispered before kissing her, making Emily's skin tingle.

"You've been watching me sleep again haven't you?" Emily asked suspiciously.

Damon gave a wry smile. "Maybe I've hardly seen you lately and you're gorgeous, who can blame me?"

Emily rolled her eyes "hardly, I have bed hair. Not attractive in the least."

"I'll have you know I'm a big fan of your bed hair. Are you keen for breakfast? Do you feel like bacon and eggs?"

"Eggs, no bacon. I'm training for the marathon remember?"

Damon rolled his eyes. The woman was a health freak. You'd think winning three Olympic medals would earn you a bit of a break, but not Emily. "Oh of course, one day we will be able to eat whatever we want. Well I can dream anyway."

Emily kissed his forehead. "You can still have bacon."

"Yes but then I feel bad, like I'm tempting you."

"Honey you're talking to the girl whose mother has chocolate for breakfast. I can handle temptation."

After breakfast with Damon, Emily got changed for running. She was really looking forward to it. It had been a couple of weeks and she could feel her body getting back into shape. She loved that feeling. She jogged down to the park. Robin grinned when he saw her.

"Ready to get our arse kicked?" He teased.

"Keep dreaming" Emily quipped back, then without thinking Emily automatically did her warm up stretches, targeting every area of her body, like Sasha had trained her to do.

She finished and saw her newest friend staring at her in amazement. "How the, what? Emily you're crazy flexible."

Emily grinned "I suppose I'm a wee bit flexible yes."

"Honey that's a heck of a lot more than 'a wee bit' flexible."

Emily just gave him one of her enigmatic smiles. If he didn't know she wasn't an Olympic gymnast then she wasn't going to tell him. It was fun being ordinary. They ran companionably, side by side. Emily sensed he could probably outsprint her but not by much. And she was a better distance runner. She liked that he wasn't ashamed to run alongside her. Most guys were insecure and ran a couple of steps ahead. Finally they finished, collapsing on the ground grinning at each other.

"I love that feeling" Emily said softly

"What feeling?"

"The adrenaline rush that comes after pushing yourself."

"I hear ya."

They lay side by side in companionable silence for a while.

"Emily?"

"Mmm?"

"I was wondering-"

Robin was cut off by the ringing of Emily's phone.

"Hold that thought, sorry it's my brother, it might be important."

XXX

Training was getting more and more intense at the Rock. Lauren looked back with fondness on the days where she only had Sasha coaching her. They seemed so easy compared to having Sasha _and_ Payson. And Darby wasn't exactly a pushover either.

"Again, Lauren!" Darby said strictly as Lauren landed flat on her bum for the umpteenth time. She suppressed a groan and forced herself to stand. Her legs felt like jelly and she had a killer headache. She was so close to storming off. Darby was supposed to be her friend!

Then she saw one of the gym mothers giving Payson the cold shoulder. Payson tried to talk to the plastic looking woman but the woman turned her back on Payson. Lauren scowled. How dare that trophy wife treat her friend like that? Payson had four Olympic medals for crying out loud! That woman just had a rich husband. It wasn't even like her kid was that good. Lauren walked to the start of the vault runway. Then she ran, more focused than she'd ever been. She did her roundoff back handspring onto the table. She felt the exhilaration she always got when she flew over the vaulting table. Her legs were glued together, toes pointed. Then she twisted two and a half times, and, to her surprise, she landed on her feet! It was her first Amanar since before the Olympics. She looked over to Darby who was grinning from ear to ear. Lauren grinned back, savouring the moment.

"Right, now do another one!" Darby said, brining Lauren swiftly back down to reality.

Sasha meanwhile was working with Jenna. The nine year old had more natural talent than almost any other gymnast he'd ever trained. With the exception of Emily, of course. But Jenna had the gymnastics gene. That was for sure. But he had no idea which level to put her in. He didn't want to bruise her ego by putting her in a lower level, but he know better than anyone the negative consequences of rushing a gymnast. Eventually he decided to put her in at level 5. It would probably be quite easy for her but he needed to be sure Darby's daughter had a firm grip over the basics. He couldn't live with himself if she got injured.

XXX

Sasha waved goodbye to the last parent and gymnast to leave the evening training session. Since the gymnastics season was getting back into full swing, the even training sessions had started up again. He found it hard because Darby didn't come, she had to look after Jenna, and Payson took the girls to ballet class outside of the gym. So he had to close up by himself. He finally started to walk out when he heard the office phone ring. He groaned and almost swore. He loved his job, he really did.

"Sasha Belov, Rocky Mountain Gymnastics Club." Sasha answered tiredly.

"Mr Belov, it's John Jenkins here from the NGO here. Sorry to call you so late but Haruko Ueda's sustained a bad sprain to her ankle. As you're no doubt aware, she was the second US competitor to participate in the American Cup. Since the competition is only two weeks away we need to fill the space urgently. We would like to invite two of your gymnasts to a selection camp this weekend, to determine who the final spot will go to."

Sasha was stuck between elation and devastation. The American Cup was a huge event, it was normally used to catapult rising US stars onto the international scene. "Only two gymnasts sir?"

"That's right."

"But I have three high calibre athletes who are more than deserving of the invitation to the selection camp. One is an Olympic, World, and National Champion, one is a World Champion and the third is the number one ranked girl at the Rock."

"I am aware that your gym is of a high calibre Mr Belov but those are the rules. If I may suggest you send Ms Cruz and Ms Jennings? Ms Cruz is very popular in the gymnastics community if she is competition ready, and Ms Jennings has been an up and coming athlete for some time."

Sasha wanted to yell at the man. He only cared about marketing and money. How dare he tell him which athletes to send! "Thank you for your suggestion sir." He said curtly before hanging up the phone.

**A/N sorry this one's a bit short. I split this chapter into three because otherwise it was going to be about 10 000 words! Let me know what you thought! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Tenir meme quand vous avez envie de lacher**

"Emily! Guess what? Mark's just signed me on to travel with the Chilli's!" Damon came running down the hallway, saw Emily sitting at the kitchen table and kissed her. Something was wrong – she wasn't kissing him back. He felt a sense of trepidation. He pulled away and looked at his girlfriend. She was pale, too pale. Her huge brown eyes looked empty.

"Mustang?" Damon spoke softly and stroked her cheek. He hadn't seen her so dejected, well ever. Not even when she'd found out she was pregnant. "What happened?"

Emily was silent for so long that Damon wondered if he'd even heard her. Eventually she spoke. Her voice was ragged as though she'd been crying for a long time. She looked at him, with so much pain in her eyes that Damon wanted to strangle the person who had done this to her. "Marcus Macdonald has been contacting Chloe."

Damon was momentarily confused. "Isn't that the person who was so helpful to you when you were pregnant?"

Emily's eyes flew open in surprise. "Oh my God Damon. He might be. It would just be like him, the freaking scumbag." She ran to their bedroom, sat down at her desk and shoved her laptop open.

"Um Emily – I think I'm missing something here. That guy Marcus, he was really supportive. What's the big deal if he's meeting up with Chloe? I know you're not a fan of a lot of the guys who she dates but your Mum's an adult."

Emily glared at him then pointed to two photos she'd pulled up on the screen.

Damon looked and swore. One was of the Marcus they knew, the NGO rep. The other was of Chloe, and who he presumed was a baby Emily. A man was in the photo as well. He had a bit of a beard and his hair was longer but he was unmistakably the same man as in the first photo.

"Marcus Macdonald is the piece of scum who abandoned my family. Damon, he's my father. He's ignored me for sixteen years and now he he's back. And he clearly wants money. There wouldn't be any other reason."

Damon hugged Emily. He didn't know what to say. His father had passed away when he was young, and he'd do anything to see him again. He didn't really understand why Emily was so angry. Normally she was much more easy going than him.

"Em – maybe you should just meet with him. He could have his reasons."

Emily glared at him "God Damon, you can be so thick sometimes! Have you not seen how my family's struggled? How hard Mum's worked to feed us? That man paralysed my only brother and then abandoned us! My Mum was still a teenager at the time. Not all of us are spoilt little rich kids who rebel from Daddy and go to work in a pizza shop. Some of us actually have that life forced on us! Now that we actually have some money he's back. I think that's just a wee bit too convenient."

Damon glared at Emily. "Fuck you, Emily. My father is dead! It's my stepfather I ran away from. All I know is that if I ever had the chance to see my old man again I'd jump at the chance. But not you, you've got your stupid pride!" Damon stormed out of the bedroom, then the house. Slamming the door as hard as he could." He took a deep breath and marched down the street. He was going to the recording studio.

Emily watched him go. She was livid! She was mad at Damon, at herself, at Marcus, and that life was so unfair! Just as things were looking ok life had to come and screw her over. She should have known better she thought bitterly. She might be an Olympic Champion and her brother might have a varsity scholarship but families like theirs always got screwed over.

XXX

Sasha gathered six athletes before him, Payson and Darby stood on either side of them. "I've asked you elites here for a special reason." He looked at Rachel, Lauren, Kaylie, and the three new elites he'd recruited from other gyms: Nessie, Ronnie, and Tori. They were lined up in height order, standing to attention. At 7.30pm the level 10's had gone home. These were the hours that Sasha believed champions were made. This was the time where it was dark outside, where most people were at home enjoying their dinner, or relaxing in front of the TV, elite gymnasts were gearing up for another two hours of training. It was exhausting and often isolating. Despite having teammates in the gym, during these hours they were working on their own, doing routine after routine. There was none of the camaraderie that came with conditioning and cardio that could be done in a group, or going on the same apparatus as was the case when multiple levels were training together.

He snapped himself from his daydreaming. "Haruko Ueda has been injured. Consequently there is now a vacancy in the American Cup lineup." He saw the girls looking at each other excitedly, except for Kaylie and Lauren. The two veterans were too professional to show excitement. He continued "the selection for the final spot is going to be determined at a training camp where the NGO has invited gymnasts from a selection of gyms across the country. The selection is going to be tough. And to make things even harder the NGO has informed me that only two gymnasts from the Rock may attend." He saw Lauren frown and open her mouth. He held up his hand, silently asking for silence. "I know that the rule seems arbitrary and unfair. I informed them that there are more than two of you who deserve to attend this camp. However those are the rules that have been given and so we must abide by them. I will not tolerate any complaining. Am I clear?" He saw each of the girls nod. He then turned to Payson.

"Now, we were thinking of the best way to select you. Each of you is of the highest calibre. And we could justify taking any combination. Between the three of us we couldn't come to a consensus. We thought some of you would benefit from the experience. Nessie and Rachel you haven't had any international experience. But Kaylie and Lauren have both worked hard to come back. And Tori and Ronnie, we want to show off how far you've come at your brief time at the Rock. So we decided to have a competition."

The girls grinned at each other.

Payson smiled "I thought you'd be pleased. You've got a week to prepare and we thought we'd invite some press. And let the juniors watch you. You've all done really well this season so far and it will be good publicity for the Rock, for yourselves and it always inspires the juniors."

Kaylie pulled the girls in. She was the unofficial Rock team captain. One that she'd grown into comfortably, and Sasha was proud of her for it. Lauren was a bit too intimidating, and he didn't want to put any extra pressure on her. Kaylie on the other hand was naturally nurturing and the fact that she had two Olympic medals and was dating another Olympic Champion didn't hurt. "Let's get a Rock on before we go back to training, girls. I know we're going to compete against each other over the next week but we are first and foremost a team. Someone very wise taught me that." Kaylie smiled at Payson. "One, two, three ROCKON" they yelled.

XXX

Damon hadn't come home. It had been four days. She'd texted him and he'd replied saying that he was fine and just needed some time to cool off. To be honest Emily wasn't phased. She didn't expect Damon to understand what she was going through but she expected him to try. She'd been so fed up with him lately, with his recording and strutting around. She wasn't being fair but she wasn't in the mood to be. There was a knock on the door. Hopefully Emily stood up and answered it.

"Hi Emily" Robin said quietly "may I come in?"

Emily opened the door wider and let him through.

"Missed you at running the past couple of days."

Emily shrugged "I was busy."

The tall man looked around the kitchen which was a tip. "Clearly."

"Cup of tea?"

Robin nodded. "Emily, what's going on?"

Emily, wasn't a sharer by nature, in fact she thought the less anyone said was good. She used to berate her mother about telling her friends about even how she'd placed in a gymnastics competition. But something told her that she could trust Robin. His big blue/grey eyes looked concerned at hers. And she told him everything. Tears started flowing again. Tears that she had never really cried. She'd always been protecting Brian and Chloe, ever since the separation. Suddenly she was that four year old girl crying watching her father leave, promising to be home soon. Then she was the six year old realising that he wasn't going to come back. It was aged six that Emily had learned she couldn't rely on anyone else, that Chloe wasn't strong, Daddy wasn't coming home, so Emily had to be strong.

When Emily finally finished crying she realised that Robin had his arm around her and that she was resting her head on his shoulder. "What do I do?" Her voice was raspy.

"I think you need to go back to Boulder, Emily. Even if you don't want to see your Dad, Brian is there. He rang you. The two of you need each other right now."

Emily nodded "I think you're right." She hugged her newest friend tightly. "Thank you so much." She said softly.

XXX

Payson came home after training feeling invigorated. She loved seeing the spark in her athletes' eyes when she mentioned the competition. She was beginning to love coaching, which she found surprising. But it wasn't the trap she thought it would be. But she loved others reaching their potential. She put her keys on the key rack and whipped her coat off.

"Hey Becca" she called out to her younger sister who was doing her homework at the kitchen breakfast bar. She smiled. Ever since becoming good friends with Brian Kmetko her little sister was much more diligent. They were good for each other.

"Hey Pay. How was the gym?"

"Great." Payson said genuinely "what have you been up to?"

Becca paused.

"Becca, what is it?"

"Nothing much. Just, just that Brian came over today."

"Nice, it's cool that the two of you are friends."

"Yeah it is. Payson?"

Payson sensed the tone in Becca's voice. It was the tone she used when she was coming to Payson for advice. The younger Keeler had used it less and less over the years. But it was definitely there. Payson took the stool next to her sister. "What's up Becca?"

"Has Emily ever mentioned her Dad to you?"

Payson thought for a moment. "You know, no she never has. Not even when Kaylie was having all that drama with Steve. The closest I've heard her talk is telling Lauren that they each only had one parent and that they needed to appreciate the one they each had. But it was definitely a no-go zone. You know how Emily is, Becca. She's super private. Why do you ask?"

Becca put down her pencil, then picked it up with both hands and started turning it slowly. "Brian said that Chloe has been meeting up with their Dad over the past few weeks. He told Emily a couple of days ago and she's stopped replying. Brian's worried about her Pay."

Payson seldom swore. But she let out a string of expletives. "Becca – tell Mum that I'm going out. I might not be back tonight."

"Can I come?"

"No Becca. Go talk to Brian if you have to but you know Em, she's super private."

Becca nodded, trying not to feel left out. It was hard sometimes when your only sister had a group of friends who she was really close to. Becca wasn't jealous, she was happy that Payson had such a close group of friends. Sometimes she wished that Payson would hang out with her as well though. Becca bit her lip, she wasn't going to feel sorry for herself! "Yeah, sure Pay. Good luck."

Payson hugged her sister tightly. "I love you Becca." She kissed her little sister on the cheek before picking up her keys. Payson couldn't imagine what Emily was going through. Emily was the most forgiving person Pay had ever met. She was level headed and steady, except where her dad was concerned. Whenever he was brought up Emily changed the subject abruptly. Payson had never felt so grateful towards Mark as she did now. He was the best father a girl could hope for. Payson drove past the playground of Taft Elementary School, she was unsurprised to see a lone figure lounging on the swings. She quietly shut of the engine and walked over to the swings. She pulled the packet of tissues she had in her pocket all the time now. It was a tip Darby had given her when she started coaching.

She walked quietly over to the swings. It broke her heart to see her best friend crying quietly, and alone. But that was Emily's style: she felt it was rude to force her emotions onto other people. Payson sat on the swing seat next to Emily.

Her best friend looked at her, and Payson's heart broke. Emily's eyes were puffy and bloodshot. Payson quietly slipped her hand into Emily's. "God Payson I'm pathetic. I've come through so much and now I can't even handle this stupid good for nothing piece of crap. I don't even know why I'm upset. He's not even worth my time."

Payson had a thousand things she could say. That Emily should give him a shot, that she didn't have to see him if she didn't want to, ask what Brian and Chloe's reactions were but instead she just walked over to Emily and hugged her tightly.

"I'm here for you. Whatever you decide to do. I'm here."

Emily cried on Payson's shoulder. Chloe had always told her that she should learn to lean on others and Emily had always scorned that suggestion, but now Emily realised that sometimes her mother was right.

XXX

Becca had tried to call Brian, but he wasn't answering. Apparently he wasn't the only Kmetko in the family who bottled up his emotions. 'Whatever', Becca thought. She had homework to do anyway. It was so nice having the evenings off and not needing to go to gym. She wanted to get into a good school, and get a good scholarship. She wanted to put herself through college because she didn't want Payson to pay for her. She opened her trig book and started on the problems. Maths had always been her favourite subject. You didn't have to think, you could just apply the stuff you learned in class. After an hour or so she finished all her homework. Then she moved onto English. They were doing _King Lear_ which was the worst play ever, in Becca's opinion. But at least if she got her essay done now she'd have the weekend free. Finally she'd finished it. She picked up her geography book and realised that it was 7.30pm and that she was quite hungry. Normally Kim had dinner on the table by 6.30 on the dot. She took her role as a mother very seriously and even when Payson was training late she still somehow managed to get her dinner on the table.

Becca went downstairs. Kim wasn't in the kitchen, that was odd. Maybe she'd got caught up at the Rock. But she hadn't rung and asked Becca to fend for herself. "Ma?" she called out "where are you?" There was no response. Becca reached for her phone to text her Mum. Then she saw that the hallway light was on. That was weird. She went towards the front door.

Becca screamed. Kim was lying there, face down and unconscious. Becca hadn't even heard her come home. She took a deep breath. She couldn't panic. There was no one else here. She walked over to her mother. A search for the pulse told her that she was breathing, at least that was something. She put her mother gently into the recovery position and dialled 9-1-1. Biting back tears she described the situation to the call worker.

XXX

The competition was this morning. Lauren had never been so nervous. It wasn't a big competition at all. Just a gym meet. But it was officially her comeback. And since Kaylie was competing and Payson was going to be on the floor coaching, the press was going to be there in droves, of that Lauren was sure. She pulled out her blue and orange leo. It had been a while since she'd worn it but it was one of her favourites. It was bold and brash and on anyone else it would look awful. But she rocked it. She put on her makeup and then went to see her Dad.

Steve couldn't help himself, a tear escaped down his cheek. Lauren looked happy. And she looked so much like her mother. He wrapped her in a big hug. "Lauren I want you to go out there and enjoy yourself. I'm proud of you no matter what happens."

Lauren grinned. All her years doing gymnastics all she'd ever wanted was a parent who supported no matter whether she won or lost. And finally, finally Steve was doing just that.

Kaylie knew she would be wearing pink today. It was her colour. She put on the magenta leo and did her makeup. She and Lauren had decided they would wear the same hair style – a high ponytail with a crown plait to show solidarity. But they didn't want to wear the exact same leos because it would look too much like they were trying to form a clique. She went downstairs to see Ronnie, Leo, and Austin waiting for her. She grinned. She loved having Leo back in Boulder, even if it was a bit awkward that he was dating Lauren. But they seemed really good for each other. Apparently opposites did attract in this circumstance.

Austin kissed Kaylie. "You look stunning." Kaylie smiled back at him.

"I see you've dressed yourself up for the press." Kaylie quipped.

"Well I do have an image to protect and I can't disappoint my fans."

"I'm your biggest fan and you'll never disappoint me." Kaylie said, slipping her hands into his. Austin's heart skipped a thousand beats.

"Ahem!" Leo cleared his throat loudly "although I've tolerated the two of you dating can you please not make me try to throw up, it's not even breakfast time yet!"

Ronnie smiled "let them play Leo. But we do have to go."

"Great, I'll bring round the Audi." Leo said.

"Uh, wait" Ronnie said awkwardly "I think we'd best take the Toyota."

"Why?" Leo was confused. Normally his mother was insistent on impressing the other Rock families.

"Um the Audi's at the panelbeaters, it needs a couple of touch ups before it gets its warrant." Ronnie said vaguely, and Leo knew she was lying. He held his tongue though. Kaylie didn't need any more pressure on her than she already had. She had a tempestuous relationship with the press, and on top of that this little meet was technically her comeback from the Olympics.

XXX

"Sasha, go! I mean it!" Payson practically shoved her boyfriend out of the ward.

"I need to be here with you!" Sasha pleaded. Kim looked so pale lying on the bed. She'd woken up but they were still doing tests. He couldn't believe that after all they'd been going through, this family had to deal with this.

"Bollucks! The last time I checked Sasha you were a coach not a doctor. You arranged this meet especially for your gymnasts to get some competition experience."

"Payson don't be stupid! This is more important!"

"Don't you care about Lauren or Kaylie? What about Rachel? Tori? Ronnie? Nessie?"

"Of course I care. How dare you accuse me of that?"

"Then go and be with them. You're their coach. That's where you need to be."

Sasha nodded and kissed Payson. "Fine. But if anything changes-"

"You'll be the first to know, now scram!"

Payson watched Sasha go with tears in her eyes. She went and held her mother's hand. Becca put her arm around Payson. And Mark put an arm around each girl's shoulder. They had spent so much time in hospitals with Payson and now it seemed they were going to have to do it again. The doctors were being very vague about this, which in Payson's experience, meant that it was normally never good news."

**A/N so this was a bit of a filler chapter. Sorry to leave you on the edge! What is wrong with Kim, do you guys think? Also who will qualify to the selection camp for the American cup? Please let me know what you thought **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Carry me home**

Emily checked her phone as soon as she woke up. There texts from Robin and Payson. But none from Damon. He was still freezing her out. Whatever, she thought to herself, he would calm down eventually. It took Damon a lot to lose his temper but when he did, he did it all the way.

"Emily."

"Mmm" Emily wasn't sure whether to be mad at Chloe or not. As a teenager, Emily normally blamed Chloe for whatever she could, but those years were behind her. It wasn't Chloe's fault that Marcus had decided to show up after sixteen years, and it wasn't Chloe's fault that Damon was in a sulk.

"I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with Marcus and I today?"

Emily sat bolt upright in her bed, which was unusual for her. Normally any form of movement in the morning was slow and reluctant. "Are you serious?" Emily asked incredulously. Man Chloe was naïve.

"Yes, otherwise I wouldn't have asked, silly."

"Um, no Mum. I have absolutely no desire to see that piece of scum today for lunch, or ever. If you want to waste your time with him that's absolutely your choice but I have a competition to watch today. You see my friends are actually doing something productive with their lives, committing themselves to serious competition and achieving their goals, instead of quitting when things get hard and then coming back when they want skive off other people."

Chloe raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow. "Wow, people will be debating the subtle complexities of that statement forever. Enjoy the competition." Chloe felt slightly evil not telling Emily that Marcus was going to be at the competition, but there was no way she would see him otherwise.

XXX

Ronnie pulled up to the Rock in the old car. Kaylie wasn't a snob, but she felt kind of embarrassed being in such a cheap car. At least they would have the Audi back soon. As soon as Ronnie moved into the park that was reserved for Cruz the car was swarmed with reporters, waiting to see Kaylie in her first competition since the Olympics, even if it was just an in-club meet. Austin squeezed Kaylie's hand.

"Ready."

"If you're with me." Kaylie kissed him, making the cameras flash like crazy. Then Austin opened the door, Kaylie followed him out, both of them wearing their fake media smiles. Leo who had been sitting in the front seat worked his way through the crowd towards Lauren. He hugged her.

"How're you doing?"

Lauren smiled "feeling slightly queezy. C'mon let's get inside before the press stampede Kaylie."

"Too bad Kelly's not here, she'd be loving this."

Darby wanted to slap Sasha. He hadn't stopped whinging about Kim for at least half an hour.

"She looked so pale Darby. I don't know how Payson can cope with this. And I can't believe I'm here. I should be there with her."

Darby rolled her eyes. "That's it!" She said sternly.

"What?"

"You are the _head coach_ of the _best gym_ in the country. You, and no one else decided to have a competition to decide who would be going to the selection camp. Your girls are going to get some major publicity. Payson and Kim will be fine. The last time I checked you weren't a doctor. And I'm pretty sure all the literature says that negative and annoying people make patients worse! So get your arse down there, talk to the press, then get MJ to introduce the event."

Sasha was gobsmacked. He knew that Darby could be tough, but he'd never been on the receiving end of it before.

Darby was not in the mood to tell him twice "move, Belov!"

"Ok, ok I'm going!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Rock's American Camp Selection Meet. This is a very important event for the six young ladies chosen to compete here today. Each of them has an impressive resume. We have Ronnie Matheison a second year senior who transferred here from Florida. She competed at nationals last year and placed ninth on floor exercise. Her dance is impressive. Her younger sister Tori Matheison is a first year senior who's been on the junior scene for many years. Her swing on bars is better than most seniors'. Nessie Jackson is another second year senior from New York, she made a splash at the Olympic Trials last year. Rachel Jemson is a long time Rock team member who did really well at nationals last year and is expected to make the national team and fight for a spot on the world's team this year.

There were cheers as each girl's name was read out. Each girl came and saluted the judges.

"Our next two athletes are veterans of the sport. They have done us very proud in the past two years. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome Lauren Tanner, World Team champion and World Silver Medallist on the balance beam."

The cheers for Lauren were the loudest so far. Lauren stood up and waved to the crowd, saluted the judges, and went to stand beside her younger teammates.

"And Kaylie Cruz, a national, world and Olympic Champion!" The Rock erupted into crazy loud cheers. Kaylie saluted the judges and blew a kiss to the crowd, before going to her friends. It felt good to be back out on the competition floor again.

Sasha had arranged it so that the girls would all compete on the same apparatus, and then move to the next one. It meant the competition would last most of the morning and allow people to come and go and get a glimpse of his Olympian and other girls. It also meant he'd save money on judges because they could rotate apparatus with the girls. Ronnie started first. Sasha was really excited about these sisters, they were the first new elites he'd allowed through to the Rock. The short gymnast ran a nervous hand through her frizzy brown hair before sprinting down the vault runway to land her Cheng. She landed in a squat but Sasha punched the air anyway. Ronnie had really struggled to get that vault to her feet consistently so it was great that she could do it in competition. It was still early in the season and she had a lot of time to improve.

Tori was next. She was younger than Ronnie, but had already exceeded her in height. Her springy DTY was landed almost perfectly, with just a tiny hop backwards. She grinned at Darby, her personal coach. Tori wasn't all that powerful, so a DTY was great for her, especially since the Amanar was downgraded in the new code. Nessie followed with another DTY. She was capable of more but Sasha instructed her to play it safe. Partly because he didn't want her to get injured, but more importantly he wanted to see how well she followed instructions. She followed his to the letter. 'Good girl' he whispered.

Rachel landed her Amanar vault flawlessly. It was quite possibly the best she'd ever done it. She grinned at her coaches, who grinned back. Unless Sasha was very much mistaken, Rachel would be winning the Rock rankings in two months' time. Then it was Lauren's turn. She saluted the judges and Sasha' heart swelled with pride. He'd seen Lauren come so far as a person. She was now (mostly) gracious, mature and supportive of her teammates. She'd overcome missing out on the Olympic team and then hand the strength to come back and coach her friends at the Olympics even though it was a constant reminder of how much she'd lost out. Then she'd overcome a serious depressive episode. But through it all she'd never complained. She brought her good attitude and determination to training every day. She winked at Sasha before saluting the judges. Sasha couldn't help but wink back. Lauren ran towards the vaulting table and then, to Sasha's astonishment she landed a Prudonova perfectly. She bent her knees slightly but there was no squat, no step backwards, no nothing. Sasha was stuck between being furious that she hadn't told him she'd be doing this vault and elated that she could do this vault so well.

Finally it way Kaylie's turn. Kaylie had a somewhat tempestuous relationship with the vault. It had never been her best apparatus, she had to downgrade it when she got sick but it was the only individual medal she'd won at the Olympics. She stared down the vaulting table. She looked at Austin who nodded slightly. He believed in her, she could do this. She ran towards the table, did her roundoff back handspring, squeezed her legs together and pointed her toes. Then she landed with just a slight hop forward to see Austin, Leo, and Ronnie clapping wildly for her! She hugged Sasha tightly and then walked with the other girls to the bars. She was so glad she'd decided to return to gymnastics. It was such a big part of her and she wasn't ready to give it up.

Marcus was glad that he'd been sent to watch the competition. He wanted to see what the new generation of Rock gymnasts had to offer. He also desperately wanted to see Emily. He wanted to explain, he knew he could do nothing to change the past, but he wanted a relationship with her again. But he knew that Emily was tough. One did not get to the Olympics without being extremely stubborn, and from what he'd heard, Emily pretty much supported the family for many years as well as doing her training, and she still managed to have a kid along the way. He could barely get his head around it. His heart leapt when he saw his daughter in the stands cheering her friends on. She looked tired and pale but she grinned like crazy when Lauren did her bar routine and stuck her double layout dismount. He took a deep breath and thought about going over to speak with her, but he realised that if the situations were reversed, he wouldn't want to be disturbed until the end of the competition. He decided that he may as well enjoy the amazing gymnastics on show. It was a shame the Rock could only send two gymnasts to the selection camp. Kaylie, Lauren and Rachel were all capable of hitting above sixty in the all around. Rachel dismounted with a double front half leaving just Nessie to go on the uneven bars. The young gymnast did well but she fell on her last release skill. Marcus winced. She had been doing so well, but she got up and finished her routine, the crowd supporting her the whole way. That was probably the biggest lesson one learned from gymnastics Marcus thought to himself – no matter how many times you got knocked down, you had to get back up to make it to the end. Nessie probably wouldn't be making it to the selection camp, but she'd learned to pick herself up after an embarrassing fall, which was an important thing to learn. And the fall would make her all the more determined.

The balance beam. It was Rachel's nemesis. She was really nervous, sure she was ranked #1 at the Rock at the moment but she was competing against Lauren Tanner, reigning World Silver Medallist on this event and Kaylie Cruz who had two Olympic medals. It was enough to make anyone want to run away and hide. She mounted the beam with a simple hop up. She almost came off on her first flight series but she squeezed her toes hard on the side of the beam and managed to stay on. She forced herself through the rest of the routine and dismounted. She was so mad at herself! She could have done so much better.

"You did really well." Kaylie hugged Rachel.

Rachel smiled at the older girl "good luck Kaylie, you'll be awesome."

Kaylie loved being on the beam and showing off. It had grown to be her pet event last year, she was the national champion and Olympic trials champion on the event and she grinned at the crowd while she was performing. But then on her dismount she realised she didn't have enough height and she landed in a deep squat. She saluted the judges, forcing herself to smile.

Sasha put his head in his hands. Why, why, why did gymnasts always falter on the beam? He watched Lauren go. The blonde girl looked fierce as she powered her way through her routine. It was so different from the way Kaylie performed but it was breathtaking in a completely different way. And unlike her two biggest rivals, she finished the routine as well as she could. Sasha grinned and punched the air. It was so rewarding to see Lauren do so well, and for her to be so happy. She'd been through hell and back in the past year and she had worked really hard to even be competing in this small meet.

The three newest Rock girls went first, second, and third on the floor exercise. Lauren cheered each of them loudly. She was no longer the gymnast who snarkily tried to undermine her teammates. She was really happy that they'd all done their best, irrespective of who won the competition. Rachel was next, she competed a gorgeous double twisting double layout as her opening pass. Lauren was mesmerised by how far her dance had come along. She'd worked really hard on her ballet and her flexibility. Payson was really good at helping the power gymnasts at the Rock work on their artistry because that's what she'd needed to do herself. When Rachel finished her routine Lauren picked her up and spun her around. Summer van Horn looked on from the stands, her heart warmed. It was amazing how Lauren had grown as a young woman. The trials of last summer had forced her to grow up really quickly.

Kaylie was next, barely five seconds into her routine the crowd was clapping along. She danced her way through her routine, a huge smile on her face. Then Lauren stood up, walked over to the mat, and saluted the judges. It was a huge honour from Sasha that she was allowed to be the last performer. She saluted the judges and completed her opening pass, ending it in a 3.5 twist. She grinned as she stuck it. It was hard to master but she was glad she'd put all that effort in. Then she did her quadruple spin, Payson had come down on her hard for hours and hours to master it in time for that competition. But it had paid off. She fought through the rest of her routine, even though she was really exhausted. She hadn't competed the all-around since Olympic Trials last summer. When she finished her routine she was humbled that the cheers for her were the loudest for any of the girls. She ran over to Sasha who picked her up and spun her around.

"Amazing, Lo. The best you've ever competed. I guess like cheese you just keep improving with age."

Lauren snorted "way to ruin a tear-jerker moment." She punched him lightly in the shoulder and he put her down. He placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Look up at the scoreboard."

Lauren did as she was told. She couldn't believe her eyes!

_Rocky Mountain Gymnastics Club: American Cup Selection Camp Meet_

_1__st__ Lauren Tanner: 60.105_

_2__nd__ Kaylie Cruz: 59.800_

_3__rd__ Rachel Jemson: 59:450_

Lauren couldn't help it, tears sprung into her eyes. She'd never won a meet at the Rock, ever. All those hours of hard work and sacrifice had paid off. Numbly she hugged all the girls. She hugged Kaylie the longest.

"We did it." Lauren whispered in her ear.

"You're amazing Lo. You deserve this so much."

XXX

The doctor walked into the ward. Mark gripped Kim's hand tightly, Payson had one hand gripping Mark's shoulder and the other arm was wrapped around Becca who was resting her head on Payson's shoulder.

"Mrs Keeler. We've found a growth by your temporal lobe –"

There was a horrible sound, a guttural groan. Payson realised that it was coming from her father. She gripped her shoulder harder.

"Mark, let him finish." Kim said impatiently, ever the practical member of their partnership. Payson would have laughed if the situation weren't so serious.

The doctor cleared his throat "it is fairly small and we think it's benign. We're going to keep you here for a couple more days to run some tests but if everything's ok then we should have you in surgery within a couple of months and you'll be back on your feet before you know it."

Payson kissed her mother on her head. There were tears in her eyes.

"Oh honey."

"I love you Mummy" Payson whispered. Kim was touched. Payson wasn't one for public displays of affection as a general rule. She was staunch, stoic and fierce, but underneath everything she had a heart of gold.

"I love you too Payson, more than you can imagine. Now go and be with your gymnasts, they need you more than I do. I've got your Dad and sister to look after me.

XXX

Emily was so pleased for Kaylie and Lauren. They both had unfinished business with gymnastics, and Lauren especially deserved her time to shine. She'd always been a bridesmaid amongst their group. Kaylie, Payson, and Kelly had each been the best gymnast in the country at some stage in their career and Lauren had always been in their shadow. Not today. Her mood was suddenly soured when she saw that Marcus was standing between her and the door. She swore under her breath. Of course he would be arrogant enough to make a scene. And he knew Emily wouldn't yell at him. Not in front of the press.

"I don't suppose you're going to let me pass." Emily said icily.

"Emily I need to talk to you."

"That's funny I don't remember you needing to talk to me in the last, let's see _fifteen years_. I don't see any reason to start now."

"Don't be like that."

"We don't miss you, you know, and we certainly don't need you messing with our lives. Now can you please let me go? I need to get home to my family. You know the ones who actually care about me. Who were there for me during the rough times."

"Don't be like that. Come on Emily. I'm your father."

Emily glared at the tall man. "I don't have a father. Now step aside. Please."

Marcus looked at Emily. He couldn't believe his daughter hated him this much. Emily had always been a loving child. Slightly shy but always happy to see him, and around her friends and teammates she was bubbly and supportive. But she was looking at him like he was a criminal. "No, Emily."

"Excuse me?"

"No. I want to speak with you, and since you haven't been returning my calls I had to come here. Now stop embarrassing yourself and get a coffee with me."

Emily glared at him. "You. Are. Pathetic. I will have coffee with you, but only because I don't want to make a scene. I would hate to ruin my friends' day because of a selfish, pathetic _loser_ who can't stand by his family but comes running back as soon as he thinks he can get some money."

"Come on Em, that isn't fair."

"Don't call me Em, Marcus. And I presume you're paying."

Marcus sighed. Emily was so much like Chloe when she was angry!

**A/N so Marcus crashed the gym meet. Are you surprised? And Kaylie and Lauren made it through to the selection camp, yay! I thought Lauren deserved to win something for once. Please let me know what you thought and I hope y'all have a good weekend! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 – and she will be loved**

"Not here" Emily snapped at Marcus as he started to pull over beside a popular café on the main street of Boulder.

"Huh? Why not?"

"It might have escaped your attention but I have three Olympic medals and am currently dating an up and coming musician. We are both from a small city and the majority of the population do not have lives. In addition a lot of press is about –"

"Ok, ok I get the point Em, you don't want to be seen. Fair enough, we'll go somewhere more secluded." Marcus snipped. It scared him how much she sounded like him. He could be grumpy and sarcastic as well, and Chloe seldom was. But then maybe he was just inventing that, after all his daughter had hardly seen him in over a decade.

"Thanks" Emily said quietly, she was slightly embarrassed about how she was treating Marcus. But then he kind of deserved it, and she was grumpy that Damon was freezing her out. They drove in silence for about another thirty minutes until they were well out of the central city.

"Is this place ok?" Marcus pointed to a small coffee shop that doubled as a bed and breakfast. It looked as though the owners had fallen on hard times, but it was off the main street and up a long driveway.

"I guess it will do."

"Fine" Marcus responded. He stopped the car, got out and walked over to Emily's side. Before he could open her door Emily shoved the door open. He sighed, he knew Emily would be less than thrilled to see him, but he wasn't expecting this. "You can open a door yourself, I get it. But I was raised to respect this thing called chivalry." He muttered under his breath.

Emily raised an eyebrow. "I'm not even going to respond to that."

Marcus chuckled. "I stepped right into that, didn't I."

For the first time Emily actually smiled at him. "Yes."

They sat for a while, drinking their surprisingly good coffee and looking out the window. The window looked out onto a lawn with many gnomes, and it was surrounded by bush. "Emily – I want to be in your life again." Marcus said suddenly.

Emily looked down into her coffee cup. She wanted to choose her words carefully. "I'm not sure if I can ever let you back in, Marcus."

Marcus winced at her using his name rather than calling him 'Dad.' "I know I'm a useless father, Emily. But I'm a different person now."

Emily linked her fingers together and rested her chin on them, and sighed. "The thing is, Marcus, you weren't a crap daddy. You were so loving, so good to Mum, Brian, and I. You were always there for us. And then suddenly you weren't. I know you were hurting after the accident. But running away wasn't the way to handle it." Two tears slipped down her cheeks, much to her embarrassment.

Marcus's eyes became overbright as well. He forced himself not to cry. He couldn't think over those times again, crashing the car and paralysing his son, the agony that we went through. "No Emily, I was not a good father. I ran, I was terrified, and guilty. I hated myself so much. I couldn't stand being in that house knowing that I'd almost killed my boy. I thought, if I've done so much damage in before they even start school, how much more will I hurt them if I stay." He started crying in earnest now. Emily reached across the table and gripped his hand.

"Brian is doing great, Marcus. He's got a full scholarship to Yale, he graduated a year early from high school. He's a hero. He honestly is the rock of our family. You didn't destroy his life. That accident wasn't your fault, and just because he can't walk doesn't mean that he doesn't have a great life."

"The accident was my fault, I was driving."

Emily glared at him. "Right – if we're going to have a relationship, and that's _if_ – I haven't decided yet, we're going to have some ground rules. And rule number 1 is no self-pity about the accident. It's tacky and pathetic, and I can't stand it. Rule number 2 – you're getting counselling. I don't care if you find it embarrassing, it helps, and you need it."

Marcus rolled his eyes "how does Chloe live with such bossy children?"

Emily glared at him and Marcus raised his hands in mock surrender "sorry, I don't want to anger you, I'm pretty sure you could take me."

"I could definitely take you." And they both laughed.

"You know I am really proud of you, Emily. Like incredibly proud. I know I can't take any of the credit for you but I was bawling my eyes out after the team final, and the event finals."

Emily couldn't help it, she smiled. She wanted to be mad but she couldn't, for some reason. "Thanks, Dad."

Marcus grinned "you called me Dad."

"Well after a statement like that I don't think I could think otherwise. Dad, why now? It's not about the money. I know you too well for that."

Marcus slowly pulled out his wallet. His hands were shaking slightly as he pulled out a photograph. He silently slid it across the table to Emily. Emily picked it up "she's pretty" she commented, looking at the girl in the photo, she was about 11 or 12, Emily guessed. "Who is she?"

"Her name is Evangeline."

"I need more."

Marcus sighed, he hadn't even told Chloe this.

Emily saw her father go pale. "It's ok, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, I need to tell you. Evangeline was your cousin."

"Was?"

"Evvy's Mum is my sister. As you know our parents died young. My sister Emma is older than me, and had trouble having kids for ages. You probably don't remember her – she visited when you were a child, but she never approved of Chloe and I. She's a career woman. Unsurprisingly she didn't like the fact she had a teenage parent for a sister-in-law. Anyway she was trying for kids for a long time, and then she had three miscarriages, then she had Michael. God he was gorgeous Emily, but he died when he was thirteen months old. Then Evvy was born. She was the most beautiful little baby, bubbly and happy. Emma and her husband, Gus became so much more relaxed and happy. It was such a pleasure to watch them grow up. Then when she was about nine Evvy started getting headaches."

Emily looked down. She knew where this was going. She reached across the table and put her hand on Marcus's arm. Marcus put his hand on top of hers, and continued.

"Then she started fainting. She, she had a brain tumour Emily. God, the day we found out it was the saddest day of my life. I would have given everything to switch places with her. Emma was distraught. She didn't deserve this."

"Oh Dad, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, we had an amazing two years with her. Then she passed away – and I thought, I couldn't live the rest of my life without you and Brian. If anything happened to either of you, I couldn't live with myself. Then I saw you and worked with you when you'd just found out you were carrying James. I wanted so badly to tell you who I was, but I knew if I did the NGO would kick me off your case. Em I'm so, so, sorry I waited this long." Marcus was crying in earnest now.

Emily stood up, walked over to Marcus, and wrapped her father in a big hug. Marcus pulled Emily onto his lap and the two of them cried together for a long time.

XXX

The training camp had been intense. Lauren was so sore. She'd forgotten how cut-throat elite gymnastics could be. At the Rock Sasha insisted that every athlete look out for each other, and her best friends were her teammates. However that was not the case here. Especially since there were twelve women and only one place left at the American Cup. She smiled at Kaylie. They had chosen to wear similar but not matching leotards today. Lauren's was a royal blue, Kaylie's was magenta. They both had a v shaped silver neckline, and silver ribbon shapes on the sleeves. Lauren pulled her national team tracksuit top over her head, she was too lazy to unzip it and had been on the national team too long to care about not damaging it.

"Ready?" She asked her best friend.

"I suppose" Kaylie was nervous. She shouldn't be, she'd done well. But she'd always hated these selection announcements. There were always disappointed people and it broke her heart to see people who worked so hard not being able to compete. She and Lauren took their place in the line. They lined up in height order, as always.

The National Team Coach and National Team Coordinator stood before them, the club coaches were behind them.

"You have all done exceptionally well. It is still very early on in the season and there will be more opportunities to compete for your country – I expect we'll see great things from all of you."

Lauren forced herself not to roll her eyes. She'd heard enough of these speeches to last a lifetime.

"The athlete we've selected is Kaylie Cruz."

Lauren felt like she'd been slapped. Then her mind flashed back to the Olympic Trials, and hearing Emily be named as the final member of the Olympic team. She bit back tears and somehow had the presence of mind to hug Kaylie before she found Sasha wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"I've got you. Come on" he led her gently out of the gym and into the foyer. "It's going to be ok."

Lauren wiped her eyes "sorry Sasha, I know it's stupid. I can't even be happy for my best friend."

"It's not stupid, you've worked very hard. And you're exhausted. I want you to take tomorrow off training."

Lauren glared at him. "Are you serious!? Everyone will talk, and I need to work harder."

Sasha put up a hand to quiet her. "No Lauren, I wasn't asking you if you wanted to take a day off, I was telling you to. You need to look after yourself, you've worked yourself into the ground before, and it's not going to happen again."

Lauren started crying in earnest now. The memories of last summer were coming back thick and fast. Sasha kept one arm around Lauren's shoulder and with the other he pulled out his phone and texted Leo.

Kaylie tried not to be offended that Sasha had simply smiled at her before carrying Lauren off. She understood that Lauren had lots of issues but she'd just one a place in a pretty important competition and it was annoying that Lauren had to steal her thunder again. She went to talk with the selection committee and then congratulated the other girls. Then she picked up Lauren's stuff and went to find Sasha and Lauren. She really, really didn't want to resent Lauren but when she saw Lauren being comforted by Sasha outside the gym she wanted to scream. She took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face. She handed Lauren's gym bag to Sasha and hugged Lauren briefly.

"You did really well, Lo. I'm proud of you, and you're going to kick arse at the Classic." Kaylie said softly. It was always so hard consoling someone when they missed out. Lauren even more so. They'd been competing with each other since they were toddlers and Kaylie came out on top more often than Lauren.

Lauren gave her friend a watery smile then stood up and hugged her tightly. "I'm so proud of you, Kaylie. I'm going to be the loudest one cheering in the stands."

"Like hell you are, you're going to be at the gym training." Sasha said, and Lauren poked her tongue out at him.

Kaylie forced herself to smile. "I'm going to head home, I'm a wee bit tired- but I'll see you later." Her voice sounded dead even to her. Why couldn't she just be excited? And why did Lauren have to be so down? She missed the feisty side of Lauren that had seldom emerged since she'd become sick.

"Hey guys!" Kaylie yelled, swinging open the door to her mansion. She ran up down the hall to the main living area where she knew Ronnie and Leo would be waiting for her, like they did after every selection camp. She grinned as she saw them waiting there.

"Well done Kales!" Leo hugged Kaylie briefly.

"How'd you know?"

"Sasha texted me. I've got to head out for a second but when I come back we're going to be celebrating hard!"

Kaylie smiled "at least until 8pm – I do have training tomorrow."

Leo laughed. "Yes, well you chose to return to being under the regime of Sasha."

"This is true." She kissed her brother on the cheek. She was pretty sure he was off to see Lauren. Kaylie didn't know how she felt about her best friend dating her brother yet, but they were two of her favourite people so she supposed that it was ok.

She went and sat down next to Ronnie. "Hey sweetie" Ronnie said quietly. "I'm proud of you. You've done so well coming back and you've worked so hard."

"Thanks Ma – I couldn't have done it without you."

Ronnie wiped a tear from her cheek.

"What's wrong Ma?"

Ronnie wrapped Kaylie in a hug for a long, long time.

"Ma, what is it?"

Ronne lent over to the coffee table. "It's the divorce papers Kaylie. Your father and I are divorcing. We decided this a while ago, but we didn't want to disturb you in the lead up to the selection camp."

"Mum – really? You two were so close during the games. I thought you'd worked it out." Kaylie noticed that she sounded like a child.

"Kaylie your father, he's with someone else. I'm sorry he didn't tell you."

"But he's dated before and he's always come back to you. Always, we just need to give him time. I can invite him over and tell him about the American Cup, and then you can cook your homemade pizza that he loves, and Leo can play baseball with him. He won't be able to refuse."

Ronnie marvelled at the fact that she had a daughter who'd survived an eating disorder and who had worked incredibly hard to make it to the Olympics, but at the same time was incredibly naïve. "It's different this time, Kay."

Kaylie shook her head "no, it isn't."

"Kaylie, his girlfriend is pregnant."

Kaylie stared at her mother for a good ten seconds and then stood up and walked out. Once she was out of the house she ran, and ran. Trying to get away from everything and at the same time trying to find herself; trying to turn back time to when everything was simple. When her parents loved her, when she wasn't the focus of media hype, when she was happy.

XXX

Payson left the hospital. Kim was being let out today. She looked very pale but she'd had more scans and the doctors were fairly sure that there wasn't any cancer. She'd have her operation in a couple of months, up till then she was ordered to take it easy but Payson knew she wouldn't. So Mark had taken leave from work, and he and Kim were going to go to Samoa for a month. Payson was happy for them. She was exhausted though. She loved coaching but she was beginning to come to the conclusion that she didn't want to coach full time and permanently just yet. She wanted to go to university. She didn't know when she'd come to this decision but she'd seen how hard Sasha had worked and she knew that she needed some time to herself first. She just didn't want to tell Sasha.

XXX

"She what?" Austin yelled at Ronnie.

"She just ran off and now she's not answering her phone."

Austin let out a series of expletives that he normally would not have dared to utter in Ronnie's presence. He loved Kaylie, more than anyone except perhaps his little sister. And he hated to see her hurt. "Do you know where she might have gone?"

Ronnie shook her head, tears smearing her normally perfect make up. "And I didn't even tell her about Alex insisting we sell the house." She started sobbing in earnest; Austin was at a loss for words. It was Leo who was the sympathetic one, or Sasha, or even Max. But dealing with tears was not his forte. At all.

"It's going to be ok, Ronnie." He whispered. "But I need to go and find Kaylie."

Ronnie nodded and Austin let her go. "Of course. Let me know when you find her."

Austin just nodded in reply. He was fairly sure where Kaylie would have gone. He drove up the hill, the road went from sealed to a dirt track, the scenery from residential area to bush. It was secluded. Sasha and Darby often took their gymnasts here to do team building when they thought they needed a change of scene. He parked his jeep and walked up the track that led to the garden at the top. He saw Kaylie there, sitting on a bench, her head in her hands. It broke his heart. She'd just earned the second USA spot to the American Cup. A competition that normally showcased two of the top Americans. It was a huge privilege.

He walked over to the bench and sat beside her. Kaylie smiled when she saw him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm so pathetic, Austin. I get jealous of Lauren simply because Sasha was comforting her after she missed out on a spot in the competition and then I throw a tantrum because a woman is having a baby with the man she loves."

Austin put an arm around her and kissed her gently. "Don't ever call yourself stupid. You're beautiful, smart, and kind. And you have every right to be upset."

"You have to say that you're by boyfriend." Kaylie said absentmindedly tracing the lines on Austin's palm with her finger.

"This is true." Austin quipped.

Kaylie punched him in the stomach.

"Faaarr out, sheesh Kayles you're strong."

Kaylie raised an eyebrow. "What did you expect?"

Austin shook his head "you seem so sweet and innocent, and this happens. Though I guess you've survived with Tanner for so long I can't expect anything different."

"This is true, Austin she looked so upset when she wasn't named to the team but she still congratulated me."

"She's come a long way and she's going to do amazing this year, but that doesn't mean you apologise for winning. You earned your place in the competition and you won't help anyone by selling yourself short."

"I know."

XXX

Payson had been so nervous about having this conversation with Sasha, but they were in a relationship now and she couldn't hide this from him anymore.

"So you want to leave?" Sasha did his best not to sound hurt. Payson was incredible and she deserved to be happy. But she was also a very good coach.

"Not permanently, Sasha. And I'm going to stay out for the rest of the season. I won't abandon the girls. We've got some strong contenders for Nationals and Worlds. But I want to get a degree."

"I understand."

"Do you, really? I'm going to miss you like crazy but I need to do this."

Sasha hugged her tightly "of course I understand." He was surprised at how close to tears he was. "But I would appreciate it if you held off telling the girls for as long as possible."

"Of course." Payson gave him another hug.

XXX

Kelly looked out the window. Watching the Colorado mountains getting closer and closer. Finally they landed. Kelly rode the jolts and turbulence, riding each disturbance with happiness. She loved her mother (well sort of) and she'd forgiven her for what she'd done but six months travelling with just one other person was a _long time_.

Kelly poked Sheila "Mum wake up."

Sheila snorted, "oh did we land?"

"Uh huh."

"Wow I didn't feel it. I must have been asleep, I didn't realise."

"Really? I did."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"No go – tell me what you were going to say."

Kelly sighed "it's just that you have a tendency to snore. No offence."

"I do not snore!"

"Yes, you do."

Sheila snorted. "I'm not getting into this discussion with you young lady. Here carry my laptop bag." Sheila demanded as she picked up her purse and walked off the plane. Kelly followed, rolling her eyes. There was, Winnie the Pooh said, no place like home.

**A/N sorry x1000 that this is late! Kelly is back! Are you excited? She's my favourite to write. Sorry that the scene between Kaylie and Austin was a bit flat, I find her character quite hard to write. Anyway please let me know what you thought! **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: give my regards to soul and romance; they always did the best they could**

Emily waved goodbye to Becca and Brian as she reversed out of the cinema's parking lot. She wasn't sure what the relationship was between her brother and her best friend's younger brother, but she was getting the feeling that they were developing into more than friends. It made her really happy that Brian had found someone who accepted him for who he was and didn't pity him. She pulled into Chloe's driveway to see Damon waiting on the deck. He looked freezing. Emily rolled her eyes and walked up to him.

"Why are you outside in February, are you insane?" Emily forgot to be mad took her scarf off and wrapped it around Damon's neck.

"Of course I am – I let the most amazing person in my life run away for a stupid fight and then I froze her out for almost a month."

Emily shrugged. "I didn't exactly try to contact you, I was pretty pissed off."

"Yes, I had noticed that."

"Well I have come to the conclusion that we are two of the most stubborn people on the planet."

Damon smiled "you are far more stubborn than me."

"Am not!" Emily slapped him gently on the shoulder "come inside you big softy."

"I'll have you know I am tough!"

"Uh-huh, I've seen you crying after watching Gray's Anatomy."

"Lies."

"Keep telling yourself that." Emily opened the front door and led him into the kitchen. Damon instinctively put the kettle on while Emily got the mugs out of their cupboard. It was the routine they always had, no matter where they were living. Once the kettle had boiled, Damon poured water into the mugs and Emily added the milk. Then they sat companionably on the leather couch that Emily had bought Chloe.

"So I saw Marcus."

"Yeah? Look Emily, I'm sorry for yelling at you about that. It's your choice if you don't want to know him."

"No you were right to yell at me. Family is the most important thing there is and I totally understand where you're coming from."

"So it went well then, talking with him?"

Emily nodded "I was such a brat, Damon. He is really cut up about the accident, after all these years. But he's going to see a counsellor and try and move on. You know, I would never have bothered to listen to him if you hadn't yelled at me." Emily wrapped her fingers around Damon's. "Thank you." She kissed him gently.

Damon wrapped his arm around his girlfriend's shoulder. "You're welcome." He kissed the top of her head. Emily smiled, things being ok with Damon made her feel safe and complete somehow. Life with him was infinitely better than life without him.

XXX

Payson hated the press, and they were even more annoying than ever. Kelly gripped her shoulder "don't worry about them" she whispered in her friend's ear. "They're just jealous that you've got four medals and you've landed the bad boy of gymnastics."

Payson rolled her eyes "serious Kelly? 'The bad boy of gymnastics?'"

"Well that's what everyone called him back in the day."

"Uh-huh."

"Payson! Payson! Can you comment on your relationship with your coach?"

"Payson – how old were you exactly when you and Sasha decided to start a relationship?"

"Payson how can the gymnasts at the Rock trust Sasha knowing that he started a relationship with you?"

Payson blushed. She didn't know whether to be embarrassed or angry. Suddenly she felt like a shy sixteen year old again. Not the twenty year old woman she'd become. She was lost for words.

"Payson and Sasha did not start dating until she retired from gymnastics. Whether gymnasts choose to train at the Rock is a choice between the coaches, the athletes and their families. Now if you have any gymnastics related questions we will be more than happy to answer them. If not, could you please let us through? Payson has gymnasts to coach." Kelly said briskly, and the media quickly dispersed. Most of the reporters had been involved in reporting gymnastics for many years and they knew better than to mess with Kelly Parker. Payson smiled gratefully to her friend.

"I owe you one!"

"Don't mention it, it was fun. See you after the meet. It's going to be so weird not being on the floor."

"Yeah, trust me it's worse than competing! You have no control over how well your athlete does."

They hugged briefly and Payson went to find Kaylie.

She was with Sasha just outside the changing room, since her comeback Kaylie had left her signature pink and moved on to a dark magenta as her signature colour. Payson thought it suited her well.

"Ready?" Payson asked. Kaylie nodded. And she went to join the other gymnasts in the competition. Aside from Rosa and Kaylie, Ivanka was competing – Payson knew the Russian would be hungry to fight for the gold after getting the silver in London. There were also two first year seniors from China, two youngsters from Romania, and a young New Zealander. Kaylie was going to have some tough competition, but Payson was amazed at how calm her former teammate seemed. Normally before any competition she would be pale and clammy, but today she was calm and collected. Payson supposed that after competing on the beam at the Olympics, anything else would be possible.

Payson and Sasha walked out with the other coaches. Payson grinned with pride as the national anthem played for each country competing. Kaylie had done so well coming back to gymnastics. And she'd been a pleasure to coach. The competition was organised so that all eight competitors would be on the same event at a time. Ivanka debuted the competition with a flawless Amanar vault. Payson couldn't help but clap. The Russian was a workhorse and was the heart and soul of the Russian team. The other competitors all did either Yurchenko 1 and 1/2 vaults or double twisting Yurchenkos. Unless there was a huge upset, the medals would go to Ivanka and the two Americans. The only question was the order. Payson held her breath as Rosa did her Rudi. It was good. Not her best, she took a step back on the landing and landed slightly off centre. However it was still early on in the season and Rosa was strong on beam and floor. Kaylie anchored the rotation with her Amanar. Her body was completely straight, her toes locked together. It was a hit routine!

Payson hugged her friend and then let her mentally prepare for bars. This was where Kaylie needed to focus. Her bars were good, but they weren't great. She was much better than Rosa, but Ivanka was much better than Kaylie. If Kaylie did well here, then she had a genuine shot of holding onto the gold. However if she messed up she would find it hard to regain ground. Payson sighed inwardly. It was so much easier competing that it was coaching. When she was competing all she had to do was worry about her routines and shut everything else out, as a coach all you could do was support your athlete and hope like crazy that they did well. Payson watched as the five less experienced girls went up on the bars. The girls from Romania, as was often the case, struggled. They both had quite a few small form breaks and leg separations. The girl from New Zealand had lovely lines but came off on her Tkatchev. The Chinese gymnasts each had incredible routines. Payson was very glad that both of them struggled on floor, because otherwise they would be contending for medals.

Kaylie was up next. Payson arranged the springboard while Sasha chalked the bars. It was routine they'd fallen into since Payson had started coaching and she quite liked it. Kaylie jumped off the springboard onto the high bar. Payson smiled, Darby had been working hard with Kaylie. She had really cleaned up her lines. Darby had this risky exercise which involved making each athlete swing bars with their legs tied together with elastic. Sasha had been very dubious about it, but it had really worked with Kaylie. Her legs were glued together throughout her transitions and swings. Her release skills were also higher than they used to be. Payson had a sneaking suspicion that Kaylie's confidence was boosted a lot now that Payson, Emily, and Kelly were no longer competing. Kaylie was very sensitive and Payson sometimes worried that she held herself back in order to not upset the pecking order. Not anymore. Payson let out a whoop as her friend completed her double twisting double layout dismount. Kaylie ran over and hugged Payson, and then Sasha. That would teach the commentators to doubt Kaylie Cruz, Payson thought to herself.

Rosa did well on the bars. It was by far her weakest apparatus but she got three big hugs from Kaylie, Payson, and Sasha after she dismounted. Then it was Ivanka's turn. This woman had cleaned up this event. Payson was speechless. She should have known that the Russian queen would not have agreed to come to this meet unless she had a few impressive upgrades.

The competition shifted to the balance beam. Payson saw that Kaylie was nervous. She put an arm around her friend "you can do this. You're Kaylie Cruz. You're not going to let a little piece of wood beat you are you?"

A year ago Kaylie would have blushed and looked down, but today she grinned and looked Payson in the eye "hell no!"

Payson slapped Kaylie on the back "well off you go then."

"You're a natural, you know." Sasha said to Payson as they watched Kaylie execute a flawless beam routine.

"At what?"

"Coaching, silly. The girls naturally look up to you, and you have a knack for saying exactly the right thing." Sasha said softly.

Payson despite her better judgment put a hand gently on Sasha' arm. "I learned from the best, and I haven't ruled out coaching in the future, but I need to do this college thing for me."

"What college thing?" Kaylie asked her coaches, trying not to be upset that they hadn't run over to her and hugged her after her routine, which she thought was one of her best.

Payson swore "oh Kaylie, it's nothing. That was an amazing routine by the way!" She tried to deflect from the awkward moment and silently cursed Sasha for bringing up the topic at such an inconvenient time.

"Payson what the hell? You're leaving aren't you? I can't believe you didn't tell me." Kaylie pushed past her friend and went to sit on the bench, tears streaming down her face.

Payson glared at Sasha. "I never thought I would call you selfish, but that was incredibly tacky and self centred of you, bringing up my decision to leave coaching right in the middle of a meet. And now whether Kaylie wins or not you've tarnished the feeling for her AND caused her to embarrass herself on national television." Payson stormed past her boyfriend and went to sit next to Kaylie.

She tentatively touched Kaylie's shoulder. Kaylie brushed it off.

"Can you at least look at me?" Payson said sternly. She was Kaylie's coach, and before that she was her team captain. Even though she was mad, she was used to listening to Payson. Reluctantly Kaylie looked at her friend.

"Well, is it true that you're leaving us?"

"Oh Kaylie, I will always support you. And I am always your friend, no matter what. You know that."

"You didn't answer my question. Are you leaving Lauren and I, and the others at the Rock." Kaylie wasn't even bothering to hide the tears anymore. "Everything's changing, everyone's leaving."

Payson was shocked. She knew that the girls would be upset at her decision to leave at the end of the season, but she didn't expect this. "Kaylie Marie Cruz! You listen to me right now!"

Kaylie's head snapped up in surprise.

"You are an Olympic champion, national champion and world champion. You are at the American Cup which you earned a place in after tons of hard work. I am still your coach, and will be for the rest of the season, and I will not tolerate theatrics in the middle of a meet, especially when medals are on the line. Have I made myself clear?"

Kaylie grimaced and looked down. Payson found it so strange how, if Lauren was in the same situation she would have yelled back and Payson but Kaylie just took it.

"Yes, Payson. And you're staying for the rest of the season?"

"Of course I wouldn't leave halfway through a season, I'm not that tacky." She raised her voice just high enough so that Sasha would be able to hear her. She saw Sasha grimace in the distance and Payson instantly felt tacky. She handed Kaylie some tissues.

"Dry your eyes. I want to see a fantastic floor routine from you Ms Cruz."

Kaylie smiled "yes coach."

"That's the Kaylie I know and love."

Kaylie hugged her friend and went to warm up her tumbling. Sasha came and sat beside Payson. "'You did well back there, comforting her."

Payson looked at her nails, not wanting to say something she'd regret. "I wouldn't have had to cheer her up if you hadn't been so unprofessional back there. You messed with your athlete's head and now after this we are going to have to do even more damage control with the press. The reason we decided both to come was to show to the press how well we worked as a team, and how solid and professional we are. Well we failed miserably at that!" Payson whispered ferociously, hoping like crazy that people weren't looking at them, and that, even if they were, they couldn't read lips.

Sasha nodded curtly "I'm sorry you feel that way." He knew Payson was right but he was pissed she wanted to leave coaching which was so obviously her destiny. Also Payson wasn't exactly being the definition of a consummate professional at the moment either. He went to watch Kaylie perform her routine. She did really well, sticking three of her four tumbling passes. She hugged each of them briefly before going to stand with Rosa, as they watched Ivanka finish the competition. As the top seed coming in she had the honour of closing the competition. The Russian's balletic style earned from her training compared with her naturally sassy personality meant that all eyes were drawn to her as her firey red hair and gold leotard danced and tumbled for an incredible minute and a half. When she was finished the stadium erupted in cheers and gave Ivanka a standing ovation. Ivanka grinned, a change from her usual cool exterior, and the other competitors went to hug her.

Kaylie and Rosa stood hand in hand looking up at the scoreboard to confirm what they already knew. Ivanka had won the competition, Kaylie had come in second, and Rosa had taken the bronze. They hugged each other and then went to hug Ivanka.

XXX

Kaylie walked out of the press conference. It had been awful. It was the first time a non-American had won the American Cup in decades and the press was annoyed, despite the fact that Ivanka clearly deserved to win, and that she was the reigning Olympic all around silver medallist. Then she had to field all sorts of questions about Payson and Sasha's fight. She knew that it would be all over the papers tomorrow. The press loved Payson, but they loved drama even more, and it didn't get much more dramatic than a coach falling in love with his gymnast and then fighting with her in front of a huge crowd. It had been horrible for them to field questions and Kaylie just wanted to get back to Boulder. She swung her backpack over her shoulder, feeling really frustrated. Not even the silver medal hanging around her neck under her tracksuit could cheer her up.

"Hi sweetie."

"Mum!" Kaylie grinned and hugged Ronnie.

"You did so well! Coming back and coming second at the American Cup."

"You're amazing Kayles" Leo picked up his little sister and spun her around. He kissed her on the cheek.

Kaylie smiled, she loved her family.

"Kayles, Dad's here." Leo whispered in her ear. "Do you want to see him?"

Kaylie grinned "of course." She and Alex had had a rough run of things but he was her Daddy.

Leo smiled "I'll text him."

A few seconds later Alex Cruz appeared and Kaylie grinned. Alex wrapped Kaylie in a hug. "I'm so proud of you Kales."

"Thanks Daddy. I'm so glad you came."

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Do you want to get dinner?"

"Yes, of course."

Alex drove them to an upscale hotel. He signalled the valet parker then stopped the car and went around and opened Kaylie's door for her. Kaylie grinned like a little girl. Her daddy still had his old-school manners. He held the door open for her again when they entered the restaurant and pulled her chair out for her before she sat down. Kaylie was so going to tease Austin about this later! They ordered and Kaylie rested her chin in her hands.

"I'm so glad you're here, Dad."

"I'm so glad I came. Kaylie?"

"Mmm?"

"I promise I'm going to be a better Dad from now on. It's over between your mother and I but that doesn't mean I'm divorcing you and Leo, too. I want you to feel that you can come and visit me whenever you want and if you need _anything_ you have my number."

Kaylie grinned. "I love you."

"I love you too, honey."

"So when can I meet Michelle?"

Alex cringed "your Mum told you?"

"I kind of forced it out of her. Sorry."

"No don't be, I was going to tell you soon, but I knew that you had this training camp and then the American Cup so I thought that I would wait until afterwards."

"It's ok Dad. Honestly, I'm not going to throw a tantrum just because you've moved on. You deserve to be happy."

Alex smiled. His little girl was getting wise and mature. He had no idea where she got that from.

"You're amazing. And Michelle is actually in town if you want to catch up with her before you head back tomorrow."

Kaylie smiled. She wanted her parents back together, but having a baby sibling was the next best thing.

XXX

"It's not awkward for you is it, Mum? Because if it is I won't see her."

Ronnie rolled her eyes. Kaylie was such a people pleaser! "Kaylie! It's fine, I'm glad you've come to terms with having a sibling, your father has every right to be happy. And I mean it will be awkward for a while but we just have to move on."

Kaylie kissed Ronnie on the cheek and hugged her "thanks Mum."

Kaylie hugged her daughter tightly before watching her get in the cab. Ronnie sighed. Her family was changing so much. And she still hadn't told Kaylie that Alex wanted her to sell the house and because of the pre-nup she'd signed, she was going to have next to no money. But that conversation could wait for another day. She didn't want to damage Kaylie and Alex's relationship, not when it was finally starting to mend.

Kaylie arrived at the upscale hotel and saw a tall blonde woman waiting outside. Kaylie was surprised, she'd expected Michelle to be just another bimbo but she looked real. She walked up and introduced herself.

"Oh Kaylie, I've been dying to meet you. I saw you at the American Cup, really nice work! Do you want to get a smoothie?"

Kaylie smiled. Michelle seemed really down to earth and approachable. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

**A/N It's late! I'm sorry – am currently failing at life! Please let me know what you thought! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: But to cry in front of you, that's the worst thing I could do**

"Well that's the last of them." Leo said, taping up a big brown cardboard box.

Kaylie bit her lip. She knew it was stupid that they were going to have to sell their house, but she'd spent hours choosing the colour of her room and organising it just how she liked it. She was neither a snob, nor a princess but she was worried that she wouldn't cope living in a much smaller house. Most of all she was worried for Ronnie. Her mother was very house-proud. She'd come from modest beginnings but she'd become accustomed to not having to work and to having a very wealthy husband.

Leo gripped his little sister's hand tightly. "It's going to be ok, Kayles."

"But how do you know that? Have you seen Mum, she looks exhausted all the time and she hasn't made any plans to support herself. She hasn't applied for any jobs."

"If worst comes to worst I'll get a second job. It's only one more year before I'll be fully qualified and be able to earn a decent salary anyway."

"No Leo! You're already working eighty hours a week. You don't need to earn more money. If anything I should be helping both of you. I've got enough money."

"Kaylie! Don't be stupid, you're going to use your endorsement money for university."

Kaylie rolled her eyes. "I can get loans to pay for college, and Dad will pay for it anyway if I ask him. Or I could get a scholarship."

"For what? You've given up NCAA."

Kaylie glared at her brother "we shouldn't fight. We are always fighting these days. I don't know how Emily and Payson did this?"

"Did what?"

"Living while having to worry about money."

Leo let out a bitter sounding laugh. He loved Kaylie but sometimes she was so naïve.

"Oh Kaylie, welcome to the real world."

Kaylie bit her lip and Leo instantly felt like trash. His kid sister had just offered to give up her college money for her family and he was telling her to grow up. "I'm sorry, that was tacky." He hugged Kaylie tightly while his sister dried the two tears that had snuck down her cheeks. "It's going to be ok, I promise."

Kaylie nodded and lent her head on his chest. "I know – I just wish things could be like they were before, but they can't."

"No, they can't. But things will get better. Mum will snap out of this, she'll get a job and make new friends. She's tough, you'll see."

"I love you, Leo."

"I love you too, Kaylie."

"Eurgh! Come on guys, break it up – we've got a house to move." Kelly said brushing past the siblings and picking up the box.

Leo grinned, trust Kelly Parker to lighten every possible situation. "Chill out Parker, and I'm carrying the box."

"Whatever Leo, I'm totally stronger than you." Kelly said taking the box outside to Sasha's van.

XXX

A week later Austin and Sasha were manning the barbeque in the Cruz's new back yard. Payson and Kelly were sunbathing on deck chairs while Leo and Summer were teaching James how to throw and catch a rugby ball. Ronnie had just finished tossing a salad and brought it out onto the table on the deck. She smiled. The past week had been awful, everything she did reminded her that she and Alex were totally broken up, it was really hard adjusting to the size of the new house as well. But seeing her kids and the Rock community whom she regarded as a second family made her hopeful for the future for the first time in years, really.

"Where are Lauren and Kaylie?" Ronnie asked.

Payson, Darby, and Sasha laughed and Ronnie raised an eyebrow.

"They're on mat cleaning duty." Darby said, sounding very evil.

"Lauren thought she would be late for practice." Payson added by way of explanation.

"And I reminded her that kind of behaviour isn't acceptable two weeks away from nationals." Sasha said quietly.

"So all the girls going to nationals are cleaning mats tonight instead of coming to the barbeque." Darby finished.

"Which means we get icecream!" Payson said excitedly, that was one thing she'd hated about being an elite – the crazy dietary restrictions that they had placed on them. While Kaylie and Lauren were back in training she didn't want to tempt them by eating unhealthily, but now that they weren't here she figured that they could eat what they wanted.

Kim laughed "I can remember the girls complaining about how tough you were Sasha, but I think that you're going to be nothing compared to Payson with toughness."

Sasha snorted "that's an understatement."

"Lies!" Payson said "I just don't want them to regret anything."

Kim hugged her daughter. Payson was a bit sensitive sometimes, and there was still some tension about Payson's decision to leave coaching after this season. But she'd really matured with her coaching. Payson smiled at Kim and kissed her mother on her cheek. Kim had slowed down quite a bit after her hospital visit, for which Payson was grateful.

Emily came and took the last deck chair, next to Kelly. She was really ripped from all her running, and she'd grown even taller since the Olympics. She was completely gorgeous, and looked like a supermodel in her white dress with blue floral prints around the waistline. She was completely oblivious to her beauty of course, which made Kelly respect her a thousand times more.

"Chip?" Emily asked, holding the huge bowl of salt and vinegar chips out to Kelly.

Kelly shook her head "no thanks" Emily might be able to keep a perfect figure but Kelly knew that she wouldn't be so lucky.

"Who are you texting?" Kelly asked curiously. Emily had been practically glued to her phone all afternoon and she knew she wasn't texting Damon because he was in recording all day, Emily had said.

"Just a friend from New York, who I go running with."

"Robin?"

"Yep – he's bored because his work's really slow. He works at a restaurant, saving up for college."

Kelly didn't want to pry, but she had a sinking feeling that there might be something going on. She knew that her friend had made up with Damon but they had been freezing each other out for ages. She changed the topic to nationals in the following weeks. Their Olympic team would be all reunited for the competition where they would be inducted into the hall of fame. Then Emily and Kelly would have one week back in Boulder before moving up to Harvard for the start of the semester. The idea was quite terrifying for Kelly, but she was getting quite bored being back in Boulder. Sasha had suggested she help with the booster club, but she wasn't _that_ bored.

XXX

"Why the _hell_ did you not come to training on time?" Kaylie snapped at her best friend.

Lauren rolled her eyes as she dragged a huge mat to the other side of the room "I was three minutes late, how was I to know they'd go crazy on us."

"Lauren it's Sasha, Payson, and Darby. Of course they'd go crazy!" Rachel piped in.

"Whatevs! There's no point arguing, we're here now." Lauren was pretty much over her depression, but sometime conflict made it flare up, even if it was just semi-serious banter between her friends. She couldn't wait to be off her stupid meds and be back to normal.

After what seemed like an eternity the six Rock elites finally cleaned their mats.

"Hey girls, do you know what would be awesome?" Kaylie asked. Lauren rolled her eyes. She had a sinking feeling about where this would be going.

"What Kaylie?" Lauren asked dryly.

"If we had a sleep over! Listen it would be perfect, we could use the old sleeping bags, and we each have a change of clothes and stuff for showers."

The younger girls were grinning. "Yes, yes!" Ronnie and Tori squealed.

"And Lauren can we try out your new nail polish you bought the other day? I saw it was still in your locker!" Nessie Piped up.

"Come on, Lo. Aren't you up for some team bonding?" Kaylie asked hopefully.

Lauren forced herself to smile. "Of course. I'll just go get changed." She walked passed Kaylie "you are so dead, Cruz" she whispered in her best friend's ear.

Kaylie smiled "you love me, you know you do. Besides we really need to bond as a team."

"Well if you really think so, then you can tell Sasha about your wonderful idea."

Kaylie suddenly looked very nervous.

XXX

"You know I was actually looking forward to sleeping _at home_ _in a bed_ when I came back to Boulder for the week." Emily snipped at her former teammates.

"How the heck is it that when you're late for practice you end up getting a sleepover? Marty would never have allowed it and I'm pretty sure Sasha's going soft!" Kelly added grumpily.

"And I'm not sure we'll make good chaperones." Emily added.

"Oh don't worry, we will." Payson looked maliciously at her athletes. "Come on; let's get the beds set up then." She said grumpily.

Kaylie hugged her teammates "you guys are the best!" She went and got the bed gear, the three new elites following her. All three girls looked incredibly starstruck by the presence of almost all of the Olympic team.

They spread their gear so their heads were all facing each other in a circle. There were bowls of celery sticks in the middle. Emily couldn't help smiling; she'd missed the camaraderie that came with being an elite athlete. No one could understand you like your teammates.

Nessie groaned, Emily found that weird. Nessie was the quietest of all the elite girls. She was the newest and didn't have a sister to support her.

"What?" Emily enquired.

"Oh it's nothing really. Just this girl at my old gym being arrogant all over twitter. _'OMG look at my adorbs new leo, can't wait for all my gorgeous fans to see me at championships xoxo'_ ick. She's so tacky."

Emily raised an eyebrow. "Wow I take it the two of you didn't get on?"

Nessie looked embarrassed. "I know it's poor taste to insult your teammates but Lisa is a bit of a pain. She was all buddy buddy with me till I beat her at our gym rankings, then she sort of ignored me. She's a bit two faced. And ever since she placed second at the Classic behind Rosa she's all like 'OMG future Olympian.' Of course she's gorgeous so everyone loves her."

"Oh Lisa Barnados?" Ronnie asked.

"Yeap that's her."

"Well you'll just have to whip her sorry little arse at Nationals then." Payson said, and the younger elites looked at their coach in shock.

"I'm sorry for being crass but I can't stand cattiness. It's tacky. And honestly Nessie you're one of the toughest competitors I've ever met but you're also one of the nicest, and at the end of the day that's what's important."

Lauren felt guilty, she felt she had to hide. She was such a bitch! She had treated her friends horribly. Suddenly she had to escape.

"Excuse me I have to use the bathroom." Lauren said quickly and ran towards the locker room. She slammed one of the toilet doors shut and pulled out her phone. "Leo?"

"Tanner?"

"Can you come pick me up?" She failed to suppress a sob.

"I'll be there in five." Leo didn't bother to question where she was going.

Back in the main area Kaylie and Payson both made moves to follow Lauren, but Kelly put a hand on Payson's shoulder.

"No I'll go. You guys enjoy your sleepover."

Kelly walked towards the locker room. She didn't really understand what Lauren had been through over this past year, but she saw Lauren as a sister. Not that she would ever admit that to the blonde girl; her ego was plenty big enough. But she also knew that being around such successful and nice people like Emily, Payson and Kaylie must be hard. Especially when Lauren had a lot to be guilty for. Kelly walked into the locker room to see Lauren, tears streaming down her face.

"Please Kelly – I don't want a pep talk at the moment – no offence."

"Lo, please? We're all so worried about you."

"No Kelly, just this once let me go home and feel sorry for myself." Lauren started crying harder. "Please."

Kelly's heart broke. She was used to seeing Lauren the bitch, Lauren the competitor, and even recently Lauren the selfless friend. But seeing Lauren the nervous, scared and depressed person hurt her. "Of course. But if you don't call me tomorrow I'm coming over."

Lauren kissed her friend's cheek. "Love you. Now go enjoy that stupid sleepover that Kaylie's inflicted on you."

Kelly chuckled as her friend went out the side door. She went back to her teammates and told them what had happened.

XXX

Lauren started crying in earnest once she got outside. She hated feeling like this! So much. Before long Leo drove his 4WD ute into the carpark. He jumped out of the vehicle and hugged his girlfriend tightly. And Lauren sobbed into his hair.

"Can you take me home?"

"Of course" Leo whispered tenderly.

They drove back to Lauren's house in silence. The lights were off: Steve was working late as usual. Lauren gripped Leo's hand and dragged him towards the front door.

"Lo – what the heck?"

"I want you, Leo." Lauren said desperately as she pulled him inside.

**A/N Sorry, sorry, sorry for the late update! And for the short chapter but next time we're going to nationals! So that should be exciting. Who do you guys think will be the fourth US team member for Worlds? (After Kyla, Simone and McKayla?) I hope it will be Peyton. And also, who do you want out of the Rock girls to go to worlds? As always let me know what you thought! xx**


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